I'm a successful, moderately good-looking guy, in great shape, good personality (or so I'm told), single and alone in this city. I am in my early 40s but look 10 years younger and every one of my friends gives me the "how are you still single?" routine. I'm somewhat new to the city, and I think I'm in the wrong venues: Bars/nightclubs just aren't doing it. I don't want a one-night stand, temporary fix, or "hipster life." I want substance, support, conversation, debate, challenges and an honest-to-god connection. If you know the secret spots in the city where I should be going, or things I should be doing, please give me a heads up? I'm trying my best to make the so-called "horrible dating scene" in SF better, but I'm just not having any luck. —SF Bachelor
He Said: Running through the newest or hottest bars is fun but not a good strategy for finding a partner. You might try, however, settling into a bar or lounge that's close to home and making that a regular starting or ending point when you do go out. But rather than focusing directly on finding a partner, try pursuing your interests and see who you connect with along the way. Trust me, whatever you're into, there's a group of people in San Francisco that shares your interest. Check out sites like Meetup.com and VolunteerMatch as well. Since you're a reader of 7x7, sign up for their newsletter for info on events and related freebies. Three other sites I peruse for events are: FunCheapSF, which has a manageable list of activities; SFGate's event list, which is comprehensive but a lot to go through; and SFStation which is thorough and has a pretty good search feature.
She Said: Ladies, take note. There are several clues in SF Bachelor's short letter that tell us he is probably a good one:
(a) "moderately" good-looking (he doesn't oversell)
(b) wants "substance, support, conversation, debate, challenges and an honest-to-god connection" ("support" and "connection" are common buzzwords, but a man who asks for debate and challenge is the real deal).
So I'm taking this a step further. I've contacted SF Bachelor. He has a Match.com profile that has photos—and he is indeed cute, not to mention ripped—along with all his pertinent information. If you're single and interested, email Twosense@7x7.com and I'll give you his Match ID so you can check him out yourself.
Meanwhile, Bachelor, take all of Man's above-mentioned advice to heart; readers, if you have any more tips for SF Bachelor, go ahead and post them here; and single SF ladies, the ball's in your court.