If somebody blocks you in and you cannot get out, just wait patiently for the driver to return, then discuss the matter with the driver and take out a gun, preferably a .45 caliber colt and shoot them in the chest.
You may get arrested for this but you won't get any citations from the parking people because killing another driver over parking is not a traffic violation

Doesn't matter what they're called, bumpers get bumped here in reality. If other folks seem like they've tried to park considerately, I try not to bump. The inverse also applies. Very simple.

Hey Bluefelt: Bumpers are called bumpers to bump. If you can't take a bump on your bumper in a city, then don't go into the city or pay for a parking spot where you can protect your "investment" and the extension of yourself that you drive around on the streets.
Gosh, get over it. I can guarantee you that if it's between looking another 45 minutes for a parking spot, or doing a 20-point turn to get in/out of a spot on the street. I am going to take the first spot that I see.

That being said, I would never intentionally try to damage someone's car parking or otherwise. If you can't take the good silver out to use it (drive your car) then don't buy it, or don't use it in the city ;)

Bumpers...the word bump is right there in the name. Do any of you know how stupid it is to say, "Don't bump my bumper!" That's life in the city. If you don't like it, garage park your car everwhere you go, just like they do in suburbia. Or you can just get over the fact that your precious car has a tiny scratch on it like every other single car in the city, and get on with your lives.

As for being blocked in, I'd slash a tire or leave a nail angled sideways that will drive into the tire when the person moves out.

I live in new york, so my karma is used to punish others.

Set off the car alarm of the idiot car.

Our use your car to push the other car back. Parking brake? Oh well...

Although I do like the police/ insurance angle... Make them pay!

If those don't work, then inch out, then slash the tires and leave a note.

I come from Paris where it was ok and understood that you could touch bumpers, as you had no other choice for parking than to box yourself in (and others, like a jigsaw puzzle). But you wanted to have a super light touch, and there was a real skill to it, and pride in not touching at all ! .....when close to the car you back up veeerrrrryy slowly, tiny increments, until you pretty much feel the bumpers.... here parking spots are typically larger, there is less reason to be boxing anybody in or to maneuver in the tiniest spots, so it is perceived as extremely rude .... it wildly depends on the place and time ...
damaging a car is different, one should definitely leave a note, but then we need to define damage.
anyway, when the car behind me looks immaculate and shiny like a princess, i make sure to not give her a brush, ...... when the car looks normal like mine with user-friendly, honest bumpers, I am careful too, but less stressed out .... and I don't think it's reasonable to stress too much about little dents on car bumpers ....

I believe that's why they call it a San Francisco Kiss!

Those of you who think it's fair game to tap other people's bumpers probably also think it's not your responsibility to stick around or leave a note when you knock over someone's scooter or motorcycle. I've been on the receiving end of that one as well, but luckily I always figured out who it was and they paid for some lovely paint jobs on my Vespa for being horrible drivers. It can cost thousands of dollars to repair and repaint a bike. It's best that we all treat each other's vehicles with respect.

No creativity: If boxed in to the point of no removal, simply call 9-1-1 and report the car stolen, referencing make, model and license number. You also can indicate that the stolen car appears to have been involved in a felony hit-and-run incident and that you saw the car abandoned at the location where it is presently boxing in your car. You might want to use a disposal, non-traceable cell phone or a pay phone for this call. Then, I would find a coffee shop nearby and sit and watch the entertainment.

Can you spell “Karma”?

No creativity: If boxed in to the point of no removal, simply call 9-1-1 and report the car stolen, referencing make, model and license number. You also can indicate that the stolen car appears to have been involved in a felony hit-and-run incident and that you saw the car abandoned at the location where it is presently boxing in your car. You might want to use a disposal, non-traceable cell phone or a pay phone for this call. Then, I would find a coffee shop nearby and sit and watch the entertainment.

Can you spell “Karma”?

I once pointed out to a driver that she was boxing someone in. Her response: "Sucks for them!" The other driver came back, stood around for about an hour before finally squeezing his car across her bumper, and then cutting all four of her tire valves. Sucks for her.

Bumping is not OK. Bumping is what you do when you can't park. If you can't park you shouldn't drive in the City.

I've had my bumper "kissed" twice when I've known who did it. On both these occasions I took photos and reported them to my insurance as hit and run (they didn't leave a note). First one was $350 to fix, the second over $1000. My insurance chased down the owners, I was reimbursed, and their insurance went up as a result.

Having your car that you work so hard to pay for, own, insure, and keep running hit by somebody too incompetent to park is an insult.

This question is about respect for other peoples property, plain and simple.

Definitely not okay to bump bumpers. I feel it's disrespectful of other drivers.

Depends where you are:
Bumpers in the city = fair game. Part of city life.
Bumpers in suburbia = personal foul.

Are you crazy? If someone came up to you and hip-checked you in order to pass you on the street, would that be okay? Cars are some of the most expensive things that people invest in (besides homes). What if I just scratched your front door a little?

I finally just bought my first new car and, like all new cars, the bumper is painted. Right now, it's spotless. One tap and this thing will look like crap. I do my best to park as far away from questionable vehicles, but I am dreading the day that I run into someone who doesn't know how to parallel park.

If you can't park without tapping the cars around, you, you shouldn't have a bought a car that size! Maybe you shouldn't be driving at all.

If you live in SF and refuse to accept bumper love taps as a part of life, you are going to waste a lot of energy worrying about something you can't avoid and/or control! Let it go...it's a small price to pay to live in such an amazing city, and to increase your chances of finding an ever-elusive parking spot! If anything, they're proof that you're an urban maven instead of living in a suburban parking bubble. ;)

Are you crazy? If someone came up to you and hip-checked you in order to pass you on the street, would that be okay? Cars are some of the most expensive things that people invest in (besides homes). What if I just scratched your front door a little?

I finally just bought my first new car and, like all new cars, the bumper is painted. Right now, it's spotless. One tap and this thing will look like crap. I do my best to park as far away from questionable vehicles, but I am dreading the day that I run into someone who doesn't know how to parallel park.

If you can't park without tapping the cars around, you, you shouldn't have a bought a car that size! Maybe you shouldn't be driving at all.

Are you crazy? If someone came up to you and hip-checked you in order to pass you on the street, would that be okay? Cars are some of the most expensive things that people invest in (besides homes). What if I just scratched your front door a little?

I finally just bought my first new car and, like all new cars, the bumper is painted. Right now, it's spotless. One tap and this thing will look like crap. I do my best to park as far away from questionable vehicles, but I am dreading the day that I run into someone who doesn't know how to parallel park.

If you can't park without tapping the cars around, you, you shouldn't have a bought a car that size! Maybe you shouldn't be driving at all.

This exact situation happened to me once. So frustrating! Solution: I got four strong male friends (strong female friends would work, too!) and they lifted the car up and walked it sideways. Good luck!

Nothing wrong with a love tap. Bump, don't bash.

Bumping bumpers? No, not okay. Even if you yourself have battle scarred bumpers from rush-hour tailgating on "The 110" in Pasadena. Maybe more so if you do.

As far as getting out of a tight spot, the most novel way I've seen involved a compact car and 4 San Jose State linemen. Or maybe it was 3 linemen and a shotputter. At any rate, they just lifted the car and walked it sideways onto the open street.

In 1957 when my family was visiting Washington, DC, our huge long brand new turquoise and white Mercury was parked-in on the Mall. My Dad got in touch with AAA, and the tow truck driver winched it up and out of the spot. This is ancient history, but worth a try...

I say Its okay to bump them.That's why they're called bumpers!

YES, my bumper kisses other bumpers, it's how city cars get their kicks.

Great article!
Bumpers are definitely NOT cool to bump...it's part of the car!