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Avoiding a Facebook Stalker

I recently met a guy I'm interested in. We flirted, exchanged numbers, and the next day he friended me on Facebook and I accepted. Then, a week later, I got a friend request from his estranged wife (they are long separated) and from someone who I think is an ex-girlfriend of his. He doesn’t think it’s any big deal, but I’m spooked. Do you think these women are FB stalkers?
He Said: Social networking is evolving faster than social customs, which can be confusing, but at the same time liberating. Right now there’s no generally accepted standard for what’s considered friendly or rude. So, if you aren’t comfortable with this guy’s exes friending you, then don’t accept the offers. If you continue to date the guy you will eventually meet more of his friends, perhaps even an ex or his estranged wife, if they still run in the same social circle. Then you can judge whether you want to be friends with them, in person. As a sidenote though, I have to say that there's something weird about the fact that this guy has two exes friending you via him. Any guy who's trailing two exes that closely behind him might have a little red flag above his head, if you know what I mean. What you'll want to ask yourself as you get to know him is this: Does he like to date women who become overly attached to him, or does he treat the women he dates in a way that makes them crazy? Good luck.

She Said: Well, I'm gonna lay the girl-truth on you, short and sweet. There was not one good reason for either of these women, neither of whom know you, to friend you, except to stalk you and your developing relationship to this guy. Your discomfort is your gut instinct talking. I wouldn't accept their friend requests if I were you, and I'd be wary of the entire situation.

Confused? Heartbroken? Curious? Send your questions to Twosense@7x7.com and we might just answer them here. Have thoughts about this post? We want to hear 'em! Comment below.

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I would be careful and get rid of them all. Nothing good could come of it.

Uh, duh? The drama isn't supposed to happen until there's an actual relationship. Later for that dude!

May want to proof your writing. Should be 'accept', not 'except' in the she said section.

I had a similar problem like that before. However, it was from the new girlfriend (Caitlin) of my girlfriend (Erica)'s ex (Tyler).

Basically, Caitlin friended me to gage how strong my relationship with Erica was because there's was a problem over Tyler's past relationship with Erica.

I accepted the friend request because I thought it would be funny, even though I knew from the beginning she didn't want to be "friends" (which since Facebook began has primarily eroded to mean nothing). It backfired on her, not me. Seeing all that stuff about me and my relationship with my girlfriend drove her even more crazy. It was fun.

But, in the end, we all broke up. So be it. Fewer games to play.

The moral of the story is simple: Your lover's exes want to stalk you. You exes want to stalk you. Your former classmates friend you to see if you got fat, ugly, pregnant, married, or all of them. It's nothing more than a public comparative tool.

That's why Facebook was invented. While Facebook has games, it's really just a game in itself.