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Your GF should dump you're clueless!

And either immature or a great big liar...

Why are men so universally clueless about things like this? Honest to God, dude, grow up, and put your thinking cap on. What's the big surprise?

Any guy past the age of 18 has *got* to have had *some* exposure to how mature women think - and this sort of thing is pretty universally known to be a no-no.

Like relationships aren't already tough enough. Way to go dude. You're lucky she's still with you.

I think you really need to ask yourself who is more important? If this friendship is worth holding on to, then you need to break if off with your gf. If your gf is the one you want to be with, then you are going to need to say goodbye to your friend.

This is brilliant.

Speaking from experience as both the "friend" outside of a relationship and the jealous girlfriend, let me say that feelings of jealousy will never go away. Jealousy is one of those things that can never decrease - once its there, it will always be there, and it will only grow and get worse. Your girlfriend will always feel some sort of threat about this girl because you admitted that you may or may not have been in love with her at one point - (BIG NO NO by the way!) Now, no matter what you do - even if you succeed in just being platonic friends - there is always the fear/risk that you may one day question your feelings for this friend again.

Speaking from both sides of the spectrum, my advice would be for you to decide who and what relationship is more important to you, and nix the other. If you don't, your girlfriend's feelings of jealousy will only grow because this girl "won't go away" AND when your friend finds out your girlfriends overall distaste for her she will start to get defensive, and your relationship with her might change as well.

You can try to force them to be around each other, like other commenters suggested, but I see it as nothing but a form of disaster. Trust me, I've unfortunately played both of the female roles in this scenario (more than once) - if you organize a "group" outing, two of you will dominate any conversation going on - after all its only natural for a couple or for best friends to have some sort of chemistry. But rest assured that while this is going on the third (and/or fourth person if its a double date) will undoubtedly feel alienated, or out of place.

Sorry to say, but the answer to me is quite cut and dry....you have to make a decision. Either your friend or your girlfriend. It's a sucky situation, but its better to salvage one relationship, than to ruin both.

(BTW, in both of my situations, the relationships ended. My boyfriend at the time broke up with me because, even though I tried my best to accept his friendship, I could never quite make my jealousy disappear, and it got annoying to him after a while. In the other situation, the guy who I was just friends with broke up with his girlfriend because he refused to give up our friendship, and she could not control her jealousy either.)

"I thought I had romantic feelings toward one of my closest female friends of five years, and had admitted this to my girlfriend." Dude, everything past the comma is all on you. You are an idiot for telling your gf that, and don't think for a moment you did it because you are sensitive or a good man. No good comes from saying that kind of thing. You admitted that to the gf because you were weak and selfish, and you could not handle your shit. Now, you want your gf to fix your mess that you created by pretending like you didn't recently treat her like a yo-yo and it's awsome that you continue to see a woman you said you had feelings for while you dated said gf? I hope you are smoking hot cause you are lacking in the brains and solid human character departments.

And, He Said, offering open spying on your email or text is never the answer. It is broken beyond repair at that point.

I believe she's justified in her emotion but NOT the intensity of that emotion which leads her to go thru your stuff and hassle you. Jealousy is a stupid and weak emotion and I have no sympathy for those who feel it. Though, on the other hand buddy, honesty is not always the best policy. You shouldn't have ever brought up your feelings for her in the first place, and now you see why.

Guy Rule #46 -- and don't forget this: You CANNOT tell your girlfriend everything and anything.

Girls are like sleeper agents you see in movies - they're all cool until you bring up an ex, then they go into freak mode - despite the reason you're bringing the ex up. Its practically genetic. It can be, "I hate my ex" or "I ran into my ex today" or "My ex was tragically hit by a bus" but you know how girls see it? --> "I'm talking about my ex cuz I'm harboring some feeling about her that I'm not telling you about". That's just, for some strange reason, the way it goes. I've had girls confirm this too.

Anyway, here are the ways out:

1. Drop your friend (some guys go this route cuz its easy, but if you're seriously, seriously good friends, then this probably isn't the option for your situation).

2. Drop the highly insecure and somewhat justified girlfriend (after all, do you want to be with someone who not only doesn't give you the benefit of the doubt and trust you, but also goes thru all ur stuff? Think about the weight of that personality trait cuz there ARE girls out there that wouldn't do stuff like that.)

3. Mix both of them together frequently so that they'll get used to each other. (I know its like mixing propane and fire, I know, but once in a blue moon, it actually works. It takes patience on all fronts but if you're girl has a big enough brain, maybe she'll see the ex not as a blood-thirsty homewrecker but as another normal person instead)

*side-law: A good rule of thumb of knowing its ok to introduce them is asking yourself if these two girls would've been friends in a different life - particularly, one without you ever having been involved in it. But if they don't match socially, or if the ex is hot in any way do NOT introduce them. The current gf will be threatened or just use it as an excuse to trash the ex.

4. You can tell your gf to cut it out and trust you as long as you be careful to respect the gf as much as REASONABLY possible when dealing with this friend (this is the recommended route, but be prepared to hear an earful of stuff from her 24/7 when you guys start laying down which rules are fair and which ones aren't when dealing with you and the ex's friendship)

That's all.

i believe that your girlfriend has every right to be suspicious and learly of what may or moy not being happening between you and this female friend. You need to give our girlfriend the attention she deserves, if you feel strickly platonically toward this female friend you should try to spend time with your girlfriend and your female friend and maybe another person. Make her feel included! If you want to win your girlfriends heart you have to put in the work.