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Arts + Culture

Pianofight’s A Merry Forking Christmas

If the holiday season sends you straight to the bourbon, feel free to soothe yourself with the knowledge that at least you don’t work at the mall. Unless you do work at the mall. In which case, perhaps you can soothe yourself with the knowledge that you don’t have to work on Christmas eve. If you do work at the mall and those bastards scheduled you for Christmas eve - well, my friend, this show was practically written for you. Especially if you know which Santa has the best pot.

YBCA's "Un-Holiday" Bash Noel Noir Tonight

Here's one more way to turn your nose up at holiday cheer from YBCA if you don't feel like watching horror movies: their "un-holiday" party Noel Noir is tonight, from 9 pm-2 am, and it looks devastatingly fun.

Parking Quiz Answers: How To Get Your Towed Car Back

Just before lunch, our parking guru David LaBua, author of Finding the Sweet Spot, asked just how hard it is to get your car back once it's been towed, because, let's face it--it is. He also made a cool flowchart to help you through the confusion and panic that immediately results after realizing your car is gone. Check out the quiz answer and flowchart below!

How Many Steps Does it Take to Recover Your Vehicle if it is Towed?

A) 1
B) 3
C) 33 1/3
D)
E) All of the above and possibly none of the above

San Francisco Ballet's Nutcracker

If you're more prone to appreciating charming scenes of glowing Christmas trees ascending to great heights or small children humming along with the symphony than the friend who told me, "I don't need ballet tickets to crack nuts," check out San Francisco Ballet's Nutcracker. (He would've been charmed too, he was just jealous he was missing out on the prancing sparkle ponies.) (Note: Clara's sleigh is towed by prancing sparkle ponies.) 

Parking Quiz: Your Car's Towed. Now What?

It's no secret that parking in the city is a bitch. So we've enlisted local parking guru and author of Finding the Sweet Spot, David LaBua, to dish out weekly tips on navigating the ins and outs of city parking.

Last week's parking quiz raised a lot of questions and concerns about just what the heck to do once your car's been towed. How do you get it back? Are you sure it's been towed? David La Bua has crafted a handy flowchart (to be revealed in a few hours) and quiz to help you through tough times. Answers after lunch!

John Waters' Live Christmas Show at the Roxie

This holiday, John Waters is "putting the philander back into philanthropy." The famous filmmaker, actor, writer, and artist best known for cult classics like Hairspray, Pink Flamingos, and Cecil B. DeMented is bringing his Sleigh Full of Smut to the Roxie this Saturday.

Arabian Nights Returns to Berkeley Rep

Last time Arabian Nights appeared on Berkeley Rep’s stage, it scored more critical acclaim than the Beatles on Ed Sullivan or Jesus on Easter - as well as nightly standing ovations with various forms of enthusiastic whooping. So Berkeley Rep wisely resurrected this gorgeous piece of theater for a limited run. With Tony Award-winning director Mary Zimmerman at the helm, Arabian Nights is the infamous tale of a bride who spins a provocative web of genies, jesters, thieves and kings in hopes of saving her life.

Lemony Snicket’s The Composer is Dead

Suspects in the murder of one decomposing composer are the clarinet (“everyone knows reed instruments are sneaky”), the bass (“tired of playing the boring parts”), and the flute (“angry about having to act like birds.”) Responsible for seeing justice done is one hook-nosed inspector with a notebook and an unfortunate proclivity for accidentally snapping off the corpse’s left hand.


Better known as Lemony Snicket, Daniel Handler is an irreverent Bay Area celebrity whose delightfully wrong sense of humor makes him entirely capable of writing a children’s story about a dead body. The dead body in question is the titular composer, a master of classical music now good only for rat food.

Compound Gallery's Holidayland Art & Gift Sale Going On Now

Lots of happening stuff going on at the Compound Gallery over in Oakland this month! One half of the ambitious couple (the first of our Power Couples profiles) who owns the art space, Lena Reynoso, tells us of the Fifth Annual HOLIDAYLAND gift sale put on by Professor Squirrel, which is going on in tandem with their It's Better Than a Lump of Coal art sale, both featuring hundreds of handmade, one-of-a-kind pieces of fine art, jewelry, household objects, clothes and paper goods.

Thoughts on the Noise Pop 2011 Lineup

Seen the Noise Pop 2001 lineup yet? Taking place from February 22-27, there's still a while before the city's finest music fest appears on stage. I'm going to think of this as a kind of "rough draft" because there are more artists yet to be announced.

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