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Best Movie Summers Ever

Greetings and salutations* film snots … Haven’t you heard? The Dude is not in.* Where is he? A privacy clause in his contract prohibits us from asking but we’re laying bets … 

A)    Hooker’s gone shark hunting
B)    Hooker’s finishing the pilot script for his sick and twisted TV show
C)    Hooker’s building a state-of-the-art Iron Suit to battle terrorists
D)    Hooker’s digging through Peruvian tombs in search of Conquistador mummies and the Lost City of Gold

While he’s on hiatus, in honor of 7x7’s Best of issue, MRF left a whole mess of Best of Hookers Reel(s) for all you suckers who don’t have his archives page bookmarked yet so dig in Reel Junkies. 

Best Movie Summers Ever

Goonies; courtesy of Warner Brothers

And that’s not all! Every Thursday this month, MRF turns the Reel over to a mysterious man called simply the Hawk. From the great state of Texas (Austin Way) this fine-feathered friend was born to drop a popcorn movie history lesson on your ass. Take it away Brother Jerr

Best Movie Summers Ever—great topic, Brother Ben. Here's a list off the top of my Croatian helmet – Reel fans gotta remember that before JAWS in 1975, the summer movie season wasn't boffo like we know it now. I'd say all the “boffo’ really began in 1984. That's when the studios programmed their tent poles to the kiddies.

As for what the Hawk’s favorite movie summers are, can’t say but I know the exact summer I fell in love with going to the movies. The year was 1985. The Hawk was 12 years old and there was nothing more important than days/nights spent at Loews Lincoln Square in Arlington, Texas where, as you may recall, I was the first patron to enter through St. Orson's gate when Loews Lincoln Square opened in 1983. The movie was Octopussy starring Roger Moore. I know how much you detest this Bond flick, but for me it's pure nostalgia … Here’s my list for Summer of 1985.

Pure Nostalgia – Best Movie Summer Ever (1985)

Back to the Future; courtesy of Universal Pictures

Back to the Future – Dir. Zemekis
Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome – Dir. Miller & Ogilvie
Man with One Red Shoe – Dir. Dragoti
Rambo: First Blood Part 2 – Dir. Cosmatos
View to a Kill – Dir. Glen
Fletch – Dir. Ritchie
Goonies – Dir. Columbus
Pee Wee's Big Adventure – Dir. Burton
Fright Night – Dir. Holland
Return of the Living Dead – Dir. O’Bannon
Real Genius – Dir. Coolidge

That’s really it film nerds, summer popcorn movies are PURE NOSTALGIA, not Pure Genius or even Real Genius, they are movie candy for the big kids in all of us. So all you Gen Y/Z hoodie rockers out there, get out there and make some nostalgia over a cup of Iron Man or Batman … or not. And … scene. To quote Poppa H, time to make like Betty Bacall and blow. Until next time, keep it weird my fellow earthlings, this is the Hawk signing off, be bad and get into trouble baby …*

Summer Films Probably Not Ruined By the MPAA
•    The Foot Fist Way – Dir. Hill
•    Pineapple Express – Dir. Green
•    Choke – Dir. Gregg
•    Towelhead – Dir. Ball
•    The Wackness – Dir. Levine
•    Vicky Cristina Barcelona – Dir. Allen

Volume 67 Footnotes
•    “Greetings and salutations.” – Heathers (1991): Christian Slater doing his best Nicholson impersonation to a monacle-lovin’ Winona Ryder. 
•     “Let’s get into trouble baby.” – Tapeheads (1988): Soul Train host Don Cornelius (as Hollywood Producer Mo Fuzz) breaks it down to upstart filmmakers Tim Robbins and John Cusack