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Emily Morse

Happy and Married?

I’m always on the lookout for happily married couples, specifically those still having great sex.

I often pray it’s not an oxymoron to be happy and married, though I sometimes have to wonder based on what I'm seeing and hearing. … Some might call me a cynic, but for the record, I do wake up every day hoping that a person can indeed be married and happy.

Last week, I grilled a very much in love couple at the W Hotel, together for nine years and living in SoMa, who shared the reasons why their sex life gets better every year.

San Francisco Women

The “typical” San Francisco woman?

I’ve heard them described as independent, snobby, sophisticated, comfortable, smart, flaky, athletic, not as cute but super cool (please don’t not kill the messenger here).

Sure, you’ll find these types in any major metropolis, but in SF they are abundant (especially the independent, cool, smart ones.)

There’s certainly an allure to living in San Francisco, especially when I’ve been traveling to other locales. Lately, I’ve been curious to see what kind of reputation our city has for those living elsewhere.

Hey There, Sailor

You’ve probably put your Halloween costumes away by now. But maybe you can still get some more play out of them.
 
Wasn’t it kind of fun to be someone sexier, wilder and a bit more adventurous than your everyday self?
 
Maybe you can find some time for role-playing in the bedroom. This is, of course, assuming you are like most people I know who are bored and less inspired by their sex lives of late.
 
(Have you seen HBO’s Tell Me You Love Me? I’ll get to that in a future blog, but for now let's just say it hits close to home on many levels for many viewers.)
 

Am I Getting Warm?

Even the most confident people I know have doubts (and advice, too) about sexual performance and/or overall general sexiness. Just so you know, you’re not alone. Here’s what I’ve heard recently:

“I was going down on this woman once, and she commented that I have a lot of suits. Clearly, I wasn’t doing it for her.”—Robert, 36, Pacific Heights

“I feel like I’m always doing the crab walk, walking sideways to the bathroom so he won’t stare at my behind.”—Melissa, 32, Mission

Hump Day Halloween

Halloween happening midweek is always a bit confusing. When do you put on that costume? Do you party at the front or back end of the week?

Thankfully, tonight there’s still a lot to do, but in true San Francisco form, many of you have already been dressing up for a week now.

Last Saturday, I ventured to the Exotic Erotic Ball for the first time ever. I’d heard about it, and have always been a tad curious, so this year we showed up with a crew to film the night’s festivities. 

Good Moaning

I’ve been thinking a lot about noisy sex lately. Not because I can hear my neighbors having sex, but because the volume of noise during sex can send some friends, lovers and certainly neighbors over the edge. Then I read this Yahoo news story about the effects of grunting during exercise, and it got me even more curious about the correlation between noise and good sex. 

The V Lady

It wasn’t until The Vagina Monologues that the word became popular in mainstream media. Sure, at first it was uncomfortable. Newspapers wouldn’t print ads for the show and the evening news talked about the “V monologues,” but not the vagina in its full glory.

Eventually, however, there was a turning point, and the word started rolling off tongues.

“Thank god for Eve Ensler (creator of The Vagina Monologues),” VL exclaimed.

Maybe you’ve seen the Vagina Lady at events around town, from Gay Pride to Bay to Breakers, though not at the Folsom Street Festival (way too many penises in play, I've surmised).

High School Sex

Have you had those experiences—in your adulthood—when you’ve felt like you were having high school sex all over again?

Guy gropes breasts for two minutes, sticks his hand down pants for three-and-a-half, and next thing you know, you’re doing it (clothes on floor, panties at your ankles, etc.)

Seems we all get stuck in these sex ruts—like we studied what to do with the breasts, penis, vagina and mouth, and we stopped learning and adding to our repertoire after we graduated from sex ed.

High School Sex
photography by Bill Grove

Is Bigger Really Better?

Unlike the rest of the free emailing world, I actually save my spam. At least, until I can read through it to decipher what’s really spam sex vs. Sex with Emily sex.

I get a ton of emails from people asking me questions about topics that happen to comprise the stuff of popular spams these days (things like Viagra, penis size, sex-related surgery, enhancement drugs, etc.).

But in the last seven days, I also got emails with the following subject lines:

1. No medicine can satisfy your penis needs as ours can.
2. Change your life! Increase your phallus!
3. Ashamed of your size? Manster will help!
4. We are here for you and your penis!
5. Don't be an average man!

No on (Fake) O

I’ve never met a woman who hasn’t faked an orgasm.

Even that one time, when she was really tired/bloated/buzzed. I know this because we tend to bond over these things from time to time.

Not because we’re particularly proud or excited, but it’s sort of a given: We have bad hair days and faked orgasm days.

I had a guest on my show who said she got into faking multiple orgasms for one guy and could never go back to faking a single orgasm.

“Well, after faking the multiple, I thought he’d be offended if I had only one. Eventually, I was just wiped out, and our sex life suffered all around,” said Jane, 36.
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