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Murphy Hooker

Best Movie Summers Ever

Greetings and salutations* film snots … Haven’t you heard? The Dude is not in.* Where is he? A privacy clause in his contract prohibits us from asking but we’re laying bets … 

A)    Hooker’s gone shark hunting
B)    Hooker’s finishing the pilot script for his sick and twisted TV show
C)    Hooker’s building a state-of-the-art Iron Suit to battle terrorists
D)    Hooker’s digging through Peruvian tombs in search of Conquistador mummies and the Lost City of Gold

While he’s on hiatus, in honor of 7x7’s Best of issue, MRF left a whole mess of Best of Hookers Reel(s) for all you suckers who don’t have his archives page bookmarked yet so dig in Reel Junkies.

Gone Fishin’ Beaches – See You in July

Best of Hookers Reel 2007-2008

Greetings* earth people … the Dude is not in.* Where is he? Not sure, a privacy clause in his contract prohibits us from asking but we’re laying bets. 

A)    MRF’s gone fishing.
B)    MRF’s finishing his pilot script for his TV series.
C)    MRF’s building a state-of-the-art Iron Suit to battle terrorists.
D)    MRF’ digging through Peruvian tombs in search of Conquistador mummies.

Foot Fisted at the Hollywood Roosevelt (Part 2)

Ahoy film snots from the deep end of the Hollywood Roosevelt Pool where Poppa H is enjoying another one of his 96 annual vacation days catfishing below the famous diving board where pinup goddess Marilyn Monroe first unleashed her va-va-va-vooms in front of the life sucking Hollywood cameras…Why’s Aqua Dork chilling at the bottom of a pool?  Dude (whispering), keep it hush-hush but I just got thrown off that balcony by Kimbo Slice, the Ultimate Fighting Champion after a testy brunch time altercation.  How could you not see that shit?  I’m hiding from the beast.  Get lost.

Foot Fisted at the Hollywood Roosevelt

Greetings and salutations* film nerds from the “Delirium Tremems Suite” at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel where legend has it, tinsel town rummies like F. Scott Fitzgerald, John “the Profile” Barrymore and Errol “N Like” Flynn once yakked their weight in cocktail onions after beer bonging many martinis through Kong’s top hat at the 1934 Academy Awards.

All those scoundrels (including Kong) died of liver failure and went to hell, but MRF’s gonna live forever! Right? Fock me. I gotta lie down ... What are you still in the hall, make a drink, please. Keeping with tradition, behold the debauched splendor of the present, the infamous DT Suite (i.e. thrashed pool cabana #217) still smoldering from the Cinco de Mayo fiesta Hooker’s Reel threw to celebrate the premier of my friends’ movie the Foot Fist Way

In Search of the Gonzo Godfather’s Secret Underground Lair

Greetings and salutations* film nerds from 200 feet below the grassy, peacock-laden Aspen, Colorado compound of the late, great mad GZA himself Dr. Hunter S. Thompson. What the hell’s a swanky SF urbanite like the Maestro doing spelunking down a dead man’s godforsaken wishing well after dark? If you Nosy Parkers must know, I’m dangling from a climbing rope (sporting an E.R.I. headlamp) and gripping a treasure map written on the back of an Allman Brothers album all for a good cause man …

Why Do Summer Movies Suck So Hard?

Hearty greetings from the second stateliest concrete erection in Washington D.C. proper. I’m not talking about the Washington Monument, Mayor Berry’s highrise crackpipe-in-the-sky or Clinton’s curved trouser bubba, I’m talking historic doorsteps film nerds where the tiny wastrel actor Mickey Rooney once uttered the famous Ruthian line, “This is the house the Mickster built …”

Godard’s <i>Contempt</i> is A Cool Flickering Ghost

Contempt
courtesy of the Criterion Collection

Greetings
film snots ... In light of all the ass kissing that’s about to rain down on S.F. once 7x7’s Best Of season kicks off, let me be the first to offer a preemptive pucker. Who do you know that's an authority on San Francisco history? I mean the small stuff, people you never heard of in the gay old bohemian days of gay old San Francisco? Juicy stories, like who shot who in the Embarcadero, August, 1879 …*

Norah Jones Pigs Out and Dies of a Broken Heart

My Blueberry Nights
My Blueberry Nights;
courtesy of the Weinstein Company

Searching for a Groovy Kind of Love In My Blueberry Nights

Peter Sellers Knows How to Party

The Party
courtesy of United Artists

Drunk Waiters and Birdie Num Nums At the Castro

Murphy's Film Picks

Paranoid Park
Paranoid Park; courtesy of IFC Films

Film nerds and nerdettes, why don't you check out some of these groovy film picks happening in your 'hood. Don't forget to tune in next week for another installment of the Reel. Until next time, be bad and get into trouble baby.

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