05/12/0911:29 am
How to Be a Better Diner, Part 5: Think Of Your Table As Real Estate
Keep your elbows off the table—and more.
Pamela Palma (www.pamelapalma.com)
Welcome to our third guest blogger series written by Ella Lawrence, who works as both a freelance writer and a server at a popular restaurant in San Francisco. Lawrence has been published in Travel & Leisure, Time Out, and the San Francisco Chronicle and has her own blog, Restaurant Girl Speaks. This is part five of a six-part series in which she dishes out the tips on how to be a better diner, something about which she has a lot to say. Listen up.
In San Francisco, property values are high—even on your restaurant table. When you're squeezed into the booth or canoodling at that intimate table for two, remember that you're not the owner of that real estate: You're renting it out for a few hours. So, please act accordingly.
Keep common spaces free of extraneous accessories. You'd complain to your landlord if your neighbor left a car up on blocks in the driveway that went between your two houses, right? Please don't park your Prada on the back of your chair where people are going to have to maneuver around it. Many waiters I know are not above knocking large purses off the backs of chairs purposely as they walk by, so that their owners will stash the purses under the table instead. Better yet, check out one of those companies that sells little hooks you can use to hang your bag off the edge of the table (and remember the restaurant purse snatcher from last year?).
Cell phones do not belong on the table. Neither do elbows. Not only is it rude to your dining companion to be sprawled all over the table, texting your crush or your business partner, it hinders the waiter's ability to serve you. We don't like having to be obtrusive when we replace your silverware, fill your wine glass or remove a plate, but we can't help but get in the way a little bit when we have to work around your elbows. If you see a waiter bearing down on your table with several plates of hot food, please move your wallet, cell phone, clutch, lipstick, or whatever is in the space in front of you where your plate is supposed to go. If you are sharing food, please help us make sure there is a space in the middle of the table. Many people don't realize that their waiter subtly clears these spaces right before the food arrives, and will put their personal items in these handy blank spots on the table.
Don't linger. After dessert or coffee. When you've finished your meal, have paid the check, and are sitting at an empty table chatting, the entire restaurant staff is wondering when you're going to leave so they can seat the next reservation (which is most likely already there). Move it to the bar if you want to continue your evening, because rent control does not apply to San Francisco restaurant tables.
By Ella Lawrence
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henry803 posted 12:08 PM Jul. 26th
Don't linger?
That is absolutely the most asinine comment I have heard. If you are a white tablecloth restaurant, you will deal with lingerers unless you want to be slammed on Yelp/Citysearch/7x7/whatever. Your restaurant should calculate the number of lingerers and build this into their overall profitability/cashflow calculations.
I enjoyed a delicious meal on New Year's Eve at a white tablecloth Mission District restaurant and they did not chase me out of my table. I will certainly go back. If they had pressured me to vacate my table, they would have lost a repeat customer.
Do the math yourself. You pressure me out, you will not see me again. EVER. (Well, at least not at the same restaurant.)
Today's economy makes your observation particularly offensive. You are GROVELING for repeat business. Shut your trap and smile. Or think about finding a new job when your restaurant closes for good. With SF's vibrant restaurant environment, this is perpetually a BUYER'S market, even in the best of times. Sorry that I have to be so crass about it, but you need to understand this at some goddamned point.
Your other comments were spot on though. Thanks.
cv posted 10:14 PM May. 17th
Hi Ella,
You would have thought that your suggestions are common courtesy----but not everybody is taught any more to be aware of the people around you. You might also suggest beside not having your elbows on the table, not to talk with your mouth full. Even the most wonderfully arranged and prepared foods look a mess in your mouth. When tables are close, you can see what happens at the other table :(
vaderhendrik posted 12:19 PM May. 17th
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