Cleavage Is the New Black


I'm not one of those "let's throw a party for me" kind of people. I spend most birthdays out of San Francisco with my family in Michigan to avoid the party thing. Mostly because I can't bare the thought of people not having fun, running out of drinks, showing up too early or too late or too any of the hundred and one things that could possibly go wrong and therefore make me regret having the party in the first place.

That's Brenda

So when Brenda Dos Santos offered to put together a party at Harlot last Thursday for Sex with Emily, I was appreciative but wary.

Luckily, it didn't take long until I realized I had nothing to worry about. The party was a success. All told, about 400 people showed up, my friend got hit on for the first time in ages, and one couple even got it on in the bathroom (and they’re married!).

Soon after I got to Harlot, my friend Steve walked up and, as he tossed back his Effen shot, announced, "Well Em, cleavage is the new black." It was true. Women were sharing an ample amount of cleavage, in a good way.

Upon their arrival, every guest received a Kama Sutra position card and was told to find their match. The goal: to break the age-old barrier between just staring and actually approaching. Tonight, rather than ogling the person you found attractive, you could just go up and ask if he/she also had the "tripod" position (in which the man holds one of the woman’s knees firmly in his hand and stands making love with her while her hands explore and caress his body …)

The lotus position

My friend Dave told me he couldn't remember the last time he was hit on and was so out of practice that he didn't get it until it was too late. He kept trying to explain that he wasn't a photographer when a woman who’d been hitting on him kept asking that he take a picture of her and then the two of them together.

When he finally realized she was more interested in him than getting her picture taken, she’d already tossed her hands up in frustration and walked away.

Singles complain endlessly that it’s an uphill battle meeting other singles in San Francisco. Men think women are too cliquey while women say men never make any moves.

Thanks to everyone who came out and supported the show and, to prove that there is some good action happening in this city, please send me your stories if you've got any from that night.

I’ve already collected a few: Brenda told me her friend woke up with one of the gift bag’s Good Vibrations vibrators stuck to his forehead while another girlfriend told me she’d already gone through all of the Tickle Kitty samples.

So far, I know 4 people who hooked up that night, 2 friend's ran into their exes (and 1 pair may get back together), 3 friends found potential suitors, and well, you already heard the one about the married couple.


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