Co-Ed Cougar, Part 4


By: The 4-Way Panel

Dear 4-Way,

I’m a thirty-nine-year old female who’s separated and just starting to get on with my life. I recently started college and for the most part, I’m enjoying it. I have a couple of classes with the younger crowd and a couple of young men have hit on me. Although this is flattering, I know they just want to have sex. That doesn’t bother me because I don’t want a relationship right now, but I wouldn’t mind having some fun. The problem is that since I’m coming out of a long-term relationship, I don’t know how to go about it or what to do, and I have insecurities about being intimate with somebody younger. Any advice on how to get something going?—VP

   The gay man’s perspective: Darren Maddox

Drink! It always makes me feel younger. Chances are it will make you feel the exact same way, and the age difference won’t even be a factor. Just remember to make sure the young buck hitting on you isn’t a minor or you could end up the subject of some bad Lifetime TV movie. Not good.

Kidding aside, though, why do you feel like they’re only hitting on you because they want to have sex with you? Don’t get me wrong, they do want to have sex with you, or they wouldn’t be hitting on you at all. I’m just saying that a little sex might lead to a little more and you may find yourself dating a younger man. Remember, if these are the men in front of you right now, then they’re part of your potential dating pool. Some twenty-somethings are actually pretty evolved and may be looking to be more than just cougar bait. It may take you a little hunting to find them, but that’s not so bad, now is it? Hunting can be fun.

As for how to go about it and what to do to get over your insecurities, girl, you know exactly what to do! It’s just been a while since you had to bust it out. Go on, lay on some charm, flip that hair, show some interest, and stare at that special someone’s lips while you’re smiling. It’s like riding a bike and it’ll come right back to you.  

Check in next week for another Q&A series with The 4-Way.

The 4-Way is published monthly. If you have a question for our 4-Way panel, please send it to them in care of the editor at To read more of The 4-Way columns or to listen to our podcasts, visit The 4-Way now.

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