Conquering Long Distance, Part 3


by The 4-Way Panel

Dear 4-Way,

Recently, I broke up with a guy that I’d been dating for three months, but I’ve known him for six years. I am deeply in love with him, and we only broke up because we had to move away from each other because of jobs. We now live over two hours away from each other. I still can’t seem to date anyone else and neither can he. He doesn’t say that he doesn’t love me, but he told me he won’t say it because last time he said it, he got hurt. We see each other every other weekend, which has been fine, but today he informed me that he’s moving even further away—four hours!—which will make it harder on us since we won’t be able to see each other as often. Should I wait it out and see if something happens because I do love him, or should I try really hard to find someone new?—BH

Chris    The straight man’s perspective: Chris Kennedy

Prepare for a good ole Texas butt-kickin’.

I was expecting you to say this guy moved halfway across the country or at least to another state. But two hours away?! Who breaks up with someone they’re deeply in love with—your words not mine—because their lover moves two hours away?!?! Inconvenient? Yes. Dealbreaker? No.

And here’s another kicker, you still continue to see him anyway!

Woman, you’re confusin’ me. I got a hunch you’re throwin’ around the word “love” like a rancher throwin’ a lasso at a wild herd.

You jumped out of this relationship quicker than a rodeo bull out of the shoot. The fact that you’re already trying to date other men is an indication that you’re ready to move on and not so deeply in love. But no one else has come along, so you go back to the well of your sure thing.

But NOW, your sure thing is ridin’ off further on down the road and you’re realizing that you’re alone.

You have to ask yerself, do you just want him cuz you don’t want to be a lonesome dove? Or do you really want his boots on your doorstep?

If you find he’s really someone you love, put everything you have into it. Four hours still ain’t that bad—couples lots father apart than that have made it work.

If you find you don’t really love him like you say, then you can end it and recommit yourself to finding someone new … within two hours of your homestead.

Check in tomorrow for the gay woman's perspective by Jody Fischer.

The 4-Way is published monthly. If you have a question for our 4-Way panel, please send it to them in care of the editor at To read more of The 4-Way columns or to listen to our podcasts, visit The 4-Way now.

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