1. Red wine is not better than white wine. Seven times out of 10 I find myself preferring white with whatever dinner I’m having. Anyone who doesn’t drink white wine as a rule should not be trusted in matters of taste.

2. Only on rare occasions these days is the sommelier your predatory enemy in a restaurant. Most of these people are needy aesthetes who just want to be loved. Trust them. Flatter them. Use them.

3. Do not be afraid to be uncool. No serious oenophile should overlook old-school favorites like Chianti, Muscadet or sherry. In fact, those three in particular should be consumed regularly.

4. Bigger glasses are always better.

5. Champagne goes with anything—except maybe steak.