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Obama's Bad Taste in Beer Gets the SF Makeover

I mean, seriously. This should be the last post I write on the silly incident of the reconciliatory beers at the White House to sort out this mole hill of a story about Henry Louis Gates Jr., the officer who arrested him, and the president who somehow got involved (are they calling it Beer-gate? Gates-gate?). But I couldn't resist this post thanks to such wonderfully detailed reporting in the Huffington Post that told us what beers all the men were drinking. Let me just say that it ain't pretty. According to the story, "the men were drinking beer from clear glass mugs and munching on peanuts and pretzels served in small silver bowls. The beers:

POTUS: Bud Light
VPOTUS: Bucklers
Gates: Sam Adams Light
Crowley: Blue Moon

I like how they all had different brews, suggesting that maybe they weren't really going to be coming to an understanding of anything. Now, of all of them, Crowley comes out the best, drinking what is at least a craft wheat beer (brewed by Coors) from Colorado. It was also the exact beer he was drinking when he got a call from Obama inviting him to the White House, so I guess they were really trying to please him. That would be like if I got a call from Obama inviting me to dinner while I happened to be eating boar tripe, boar tripe is probably what I could expect to receive for dinner at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

As for the rest of them, including our Drinker in Chief, well, it's just downright embarrassing. They might as well be in an airport bar, their beers are so bland and common. And VP Biden does not live up to the "vice" in his title by drinking a pathetic, low-alcohol brew. I mean, it's not like he has to drive home.

Were I to cater this event using only San Francisco microbrews, this is how I would have done it.

POTUS: Magnolia "Proving Ground" IPA: This stupid "scandal" should never have even made the news, Obama keeps having to prove himself, over and over
VPOTUS: Anchor "Old Foghorn" Ale: Appropriate for a guy known for his inability to keep quiet
Gates: 21st Amendment "Double Trouble" Imperial IPA: Dude got arrested for breaking into his own house
Crowley: Speakeasy "Untouchable" Pale Ale: Perfect for a white cop