Imagine, if you will, a world where shortly after being introduced to your future sweetheart, you are forced to view their bottoms. I'm proud to say that my local rock gym, Planet Granite San Francisco, has invented a version of speed-dating (whereby belay-certified lovelorn singles are randomly assigned to climb with other belay-certified lovelorn singles) that makes this normally covert act of tush-peeping not only possible, but necessary. Granted, those rumps will be locked in a chastity belt—I mean, harness—which may or may not be an accurate representation of the real thing, but nevertheless, you will be obligated, in the name of safety, to view your partners' nether regions. Can't do that at your run-of-the-mill matchmaking soiree. A point system at this ingenious little social ensures that promiscuity will be rewarded—the more people you climb with, the closer you get to winning some "cool" prizes. And let's not ignore the fact that after completing a night's worth of routes, your biceps will be beautifully sculpted for the follow-up dates to come. The mayhem begins at 6:30 tonight.