Hey There, Sailor
You’ve probably put your Halloween costumes away by now. But maybe you can still get some more play out of them.
Wasn’t it kind of fun to be someone sexier, wilder and a bit more adventurous than your everyday self?
Maybe you can find some time for role-playing in the bedroom. This is, of course, assuming you are like most people I know who are bored and less inspired by their sex lives of late.
(Have you seen HBO’s Tell Me You Love Me? I’ll get to that in a future blog, but for now let's just say it hits close to home on many levels for many viewers.)
A guy friend asked me last week: “What’s up with the role-playing thing? I just don’t get it. Do I show up as the pizza guy, and she’s plays the lonely housewife kind of thing?”
He was sheepish, like he should know. And being a smart guy, he intellectually gets it, but oh where to start? This appears to be the number one challenge when trying something new sexually.
First, know this: The brain is the largest sexual organ, for men and women. Men tend to be stimulated visually, while women become stimulated mentally. In other words, men get turned on by images, women by words.
Guys will get aroused by a naked woman (or man), and women get excited when their partner whispers sweet or dirty nothings in her ear.
So a little role-playing fits in nicely with this equation.
Just the other day, I suggested role-playing to one of my girlfriends who was complaining about her sex life with her long-time partner. “It sounds great in theory, but do I just show up in my French maid uniform ready to dust off his bed?” she asked.
Meanwhile, my friend Sheri told me this: “My lover just sprung in on me once while we were having sex. He said I’d been a bad girl, and that he should punish me.” She added, “It was exciting this year on Halloween when we dressed up on as prom king and queen and somehow got into the fantasy that I was a virgin and he was going to deflower me. I was surprisingly aroused, too.”
Maybe your partner wants to be dominated. You could scold, tie him or her up. Be bold and lead the charge.
Try acting out your fantasies. You may like it. If not, there’s always time for movie night tomorrow.
Listen to Sex with Emily at www.sexwithemily.com.