by The 4-Way Panel
I’ve been dating someone now for about three months whom I really like. He seems like the kind of guy that I could get even more serious with. But there’s one problem: He’s uncircumcised. I’ve only been with circumcised men, and I hate to say this, but I’m kind of disgusted at the sight of his penis. It doesn’t feel different inside me, but I’m really into oral sex and it just turns me off. I’ve had less of a desire to be with him intimately lately, and I’m worried that this is the beginning of the end. What should I do?—NS
The straight man’s perspective: Chris Kennedy
So here’s the deal: You’re really into oral sex and you’re having a hard time—pardon me—enjoying it. That’s a valid concern. I know you feel shallow but I don’t think ignoring your feelings is the answer. It doesn’t appear you’re getting any fonder of his down yonder.
I think there’s a direct way you can let him know without insulting his manhood. Something like, “Gosh, I’m just not used to foreskin. The guys I’ve been with in the past have been cut and honestly, I’m having some issue with your extra man tissue.” This way you’ve let him know and you two can decide together how you’ll proceed. You’ll either get over your distaste or he can decide to undergo an adult circumcision. Ouch. Let me write that again: ouch! Remember, this is a sharp instrument cutting into his penis. Would you really want him to go through that because you think it’s disgusting? Would you do it if you were him?
Let me tell you, if I went through that, I’d be darn sure the girl was cut-worthy. So are ya? Are you cut-worthy? Let him know your issue and he’ll have to decide if you’ve made the cut.
Check in tomorrow for the gay woman's perspective by Jody Fischer.
The 4-Way is published monthly. If you have a question for our 4-Way panel, please send it to them in care of the editor at firstname.lastname@example.org. To read more of The 4-Way columns or to listen to our podcasts, visit The 4-Way now.
by The 4-Way Panel