It’s Not the Size of the Boat


By: The 4-Way Panel

Dear 4-Way,
My boyfriend has a tiny penis. I’m talking like maybe three inches tiny—and that’s when it’s hard. The sex isn’t bad, but it’s not great either. I know that this shouldn’t bother me, but for some reason it does. We have oral sex pretty much every day—sometimes twice—which makes me think he’s aware of this problem and wants to try to please me in different ways. The problem is that I’m so hung up on his smallness that I can’t concentrate anymore, and I rarely come from anything. Do other people have dicks this small? We haven’t been dating that long, and I’m not sure he’s Mr. Right, so I’m considering breaking up with him since the sex is so average. That makes me feel a little shallow, though. What do you guys think about all this?—VW

    The gay woman’s perspective: Jody Fischer

How would you feel if a guy wanted to end it with you because your breasts were too small or too big? Pretty bad feeling, isn’t it? If the rest of your relationship was in stellar shape, I’d say see what you can do to get over this, but the truth is that you don’t seem really into this guy in the first place. A tiny weenie and tiny interest in the guy equals a “see you later” in my book. But what do I know about tiny male dicks? I’m a lesbian.

Since I’m in way over my head with this question, I discussed this issue with some of my straight women friends. Seems like there is a wide range of preferences out there and that there is a “right fit” for everyone. The long and short of it is he’s not your perfect match. Perhaps he will be for someone else, but not for you, my dear. Keep searching until you find your match. Not just in terms of size down-under, but also a match in terms of your intellectual, spiritual, emotional needs, as well as a daily life companion. There is the old adage that says you have to love people for who they are and not try to change them. But as the saying goes, you first have to love them. And you don’t. Time to size up the next guy, on all levels.

Check in tomorrow to read the straight man's perspective by Chris Kennedy.

The 4-Way is published monthly. If you have a question for our 4-Way panel, please send it to them in care of the editor at To read more of The 4-Way columns or to listen to our podcasts, visit The 4-Way now.

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