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How To End Up With a Date at a Singles Event

Photo by Alanna Hale.

Walking into a room where everyone else is looking for a date (and probably a relationship) is absurdly comforting. A profound moment of "So this is where all the single people my age are — in Dogpatch eating cheese." So it was with the Try Me event last Saturday. Here are some tips I picked up at the event, which also hold true for bars, parties, the grocery store, or anywhere you're feeling brave.

Tips From a Writer Who Went To a Singles Event To Do Her Job and Ended Up with a Date

1. If you find yourself yelling about hobbits*, just go with it. It's a stellar litmus test. If you’re the kind of person who yells about hobbits when drinking vermouth, you need to be dating someone who can roll with that sort of thing. 

* Yeah, I did. We were talking about New Zealand, a conversation that always involves sheep and Lord of the Rings. Hey, I didn’t make the rules.

2. Banish the agenda. Agendas totally destroy your fun. If you go to a party hoping to find your lobster and — as inevitably happens — wind up talking to someone with little lobster potential, you'll be thinking, “Pretty sure I'm not going to marry this guy and that's really what I wanted out of this afternoon.” See? No fun. Decide you don't care whether you meet anyone and just find out what’s interesting about each person. Look at that, life just got nice again. 

3. When you think, I want to talk to that one, make it happen. Because that’s often when you meet someone good. He may even ask you out later, possibly because he enjoyed all the yelling about hobbits. 

 

Tips from Try Me Co-Founder Beth Cook, Who Also Landed a Date

1. Go with your gut instinct. Immediately pick out two or three people. Be aware of who you’re drawn to and who catches your attention. Go with that and be sure to talk to those people at some point.*

* Yeah, I just repeated a tip, but when two people say the same thing, it's probably a reasonable strategy. Hooray for instincts and repetition!  

2. Work the room as much as possible. I tend to chat for about 5 minutes with most people. Then I revisit the guys I had a good conversation with. But be open-minded. You don’t always know who will make you laugh or be the right fit for you. So try to talk to everyone.

3. Get the number. Here's a strategy that almost always works: If I feel like we hit it off, I hand over my business card in a flirty way and say something like, "Let’s hang out this week and get tacos." [Conversational relevance is probably good, but if you want to randomly mention tacos, go for it.] I say, “Here’s my card, let me know if you’re free,” and walk away before they can answer. Men sometimes feel awkward about asking for numbers, so as a woman in that situation, I love taking control. 

Check out trymesf.com for more information.