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Sex with Emily: His and Her Diaries

I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time with friends decoding text messages, deciphering voicemails and dissecting ambiguous conversations.

Women tend to explore relationship scenarios - sometimes ad nauseum.  I get comfort from studies that show women are biologically wired for such conversations, but sometimes I wonder: is this all for naught?

To wit: This was emailed to me recently. While it's a joke and is good for a laugh, is it also true?


HER DIARY
Saturday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friend all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say I love you too. When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V. He seemed distant and absent. Finally I decided to go to bed, about 10 minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. I decided that I could not take it anymore so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

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HIS DIARY
Played AWFUL today! Shot a 98. I can't putt for shit!!!!
Got laid though.