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What’s Your Number?

by The 4-Way Panel

Dear 4-Way,

Do you think it’s a good idea to find out how many sexual partners the person you’re dating has had? If the answer is “yes,” when in the relationship is the best time to ask?—LL

Darren    The gay man’s perspective: Darren Maddox

No! I think it’s important to know if the person you’re active with now has anything you may catch, but I do not think it’s important to know how many partners they’ve had before you met. We all have a past. If the answer you get is higher than you expected, you’re going to think he or she is a whore. If it’s lower than you expected, then you’ll wonder if he or she is a late bloomer, gay, shy or too sensitive. Leave it alone. When it seems right for the person to bring it up to you, he or she will.

Check in tomorrow to read the straight woman's perspective by Rebecca Brown.

The 4-Way is published monthly. If you have a question for our 4-Way panel, please send it to them in care of the editor at rbrown@realgirlsmedia.com. To read more of The 4-Way columns or to listen to our podcasts, visit The 4-Way now.