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Love + Sex

When Do You Apologize?

My husband is generally a caring and compassionate man, but when we get in an argument he never admits fault or apologizes. It’s like it’s not in him. I know this is the pattern in his family too. When the argument is over, he goes about his day, no grudges held, but no sorry either. I might err on the side of apologizing too much, but part of the reason for that is that I hate conflict and want it to be resolved as soon as possible. Otherwise, I internalize it and fume. So, no apology from him equals me fuming for days, while he’s moved on.

What If I Love My Boyfriend But Hate His Family?

I love my boyfriend but hate his family. I can’t stand the thought of having to spend holidays with his family for the rest of my life. I can’t stand their values and don’t want my children around them. They’re from the “wrong side of the tracks” and even have a family member in prison. I feel like a snob about this. Help.

Should You Tell On Your Friend If They're Cheating?

My friend is marrying his girlfriend soon. I know he had a few affairs before he proposed and she’s clueless.  Maybe he was just getting it out of his system, but it definitely shows a lack of respect. Should I let it go or let her know? —NoPa Whistleblower

The Oral Sex Scoreboard

Welcome to our new weekly blog of half-truths and educated guesses on love, sex and relationships in San Francisco. Here's a little background on who's dishing the advice:

He is a novelist living in SF who’s had one marriage, two live-in relationships, 10 girlfriends and a very wise therapist.

She is an SF health journalist who’s been married, single, communal, and bi-curious, and has studied tantra and orgasm—for research purposes, of course.

Relationship Advice Redux

Welcome to our new weekly blog of half-truths and educated guesses on love, sex and relationships in SF. Here's who's dishing the advice:

He is a novelist living in SF who’s had one marriage, two live-in relationships, 10 girlfriends and a very wise therapist.

She is an SF health journalist who’s been married, single, communal, and bi-curious, and has studied tantra and orgasm—for research purposes, of course.

Q: Can you recommend any sites that give relationship advice online? Thanks. —Tom in SF

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Welcome to our new weekly blog of half-truths and educated guesses on love, sex and relationships in SF. Here's who's dishing the advice:

 

He is a novelist living in SF who’s had one marriage, two live-in relationships, 10 girlfriends and a very wise therapist.

She is an SF health journalist who’s been married, single, communal, and bi-curious, and has studied tantra and orgasm—for research purposes, of course.

Two Generations of Gay Men Collide in SF

For the first time in decades, two generations of gay men are alive and kicking—together.

I’m in a popular weeknight club in the Castro. A glittery girl in her mid-20s passes by with a boy wearing a costumey hat, flouncy tie and black vest. The girl points to a nearby man, mid-40s, sporting more or less the same look: same hairstyle, same brimmed hat, same vest. “Look,” she says, “it’s your dad!”

This is the job of youth culture, to draw these kinds of lines: on one side, kids who get to have fun; on the other, their elders, who should be at home in bed. But as a 44-year-old, now on the latter side of that dividing line, I’m struck by something else: how rarely I hear comments like this in the city’s gay community.

Fear Factor: On San Francisco's Commitment-Phobic Reputation

Can San Francisco’s commitment-phobic reputation really be blamed on aggressive career women, too much therapy or online dating? Or could it be something much more basic than that?

Match.com Profiles: The Ultimate SF Girl and Guy

 

Home to the Summer of Love, the place where you leave your heart—this city is known for being in touch with its emotions. As poets and progressives, we embrace therapy and gender-bending sexuality. As tech nerds, we've got sexting down pat. But these are the very things that make love a minefield. From the hookup to the breakup, it's all a risky proposition—starting with the first online date.

Taken from the pages of 7x7’s April Sex and Love Issue, these are not real Match profiles, so don't go looking them up.

The Hater's Guide to Valentine's Day

Oh, how sweet it is—the dreaded V-Day is back and once again it falls on a weekend. We're giving you fair warning: stay indoors or risk running headfirst into couples galore running into each other's arms, holding hands and canoodling on the streets. If you're anything like us, Valentine's Day is a holiday you love to hate, no matter your relationship status and there are plenty of cityslickers who feel the same way. So, without further ado, here’s our list of ways to commiserate with fellow haters, celebrate singledom, partake in cheeky revelry or just plain ignore the day’s existence.

1. Fight Club: Valentine’s Day Pillow Massacre

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