Playing the Numbers, Part 3


By: The 4-Way Panel

Dear 4-Way,

Why do guys ask for your phone number and then never call?—JT

    The gay man’s perspective: Darren Maddox

Because somewhere during the required three days (the time needed to ponder what he will actually say when he calls you), a strange phenomenon occurs. Many men—especially those in their twenties and early thirties—experience a most unfortunate side effect when a phone number is obtained. He misplaces the balls he once had which allowed him to ask for your number in the first place. Try as he may, he cannot locate them again and therefore lacks the courage to dial you from the device in his pocket. But there is hope. Once he matures, he won’t lose said balls after gathering a phone number and he’ll show the courage and respect needed to actually call the person who seemed so intriguing in the first place.
The gay woman’s perspective: Jody Fischer

News flash: girls do it too. Next time ask for his number. This puts you on an equal playing field. Have you ever been the one who has to make the call? It’s not easy to put yourself out there. Unfortunately for some, simply asking for a number and getting it means you’ve already “won” because you GOT THE NUMBER. Sometimes the fear of possible rejection outweighs the risk of the making a second connection. I’ve learned that life is short, so don’t wait for things to come to you. Get his number and make the call.

Check in next week for another Q&A series with The 4-Way.

The 4-Way is published monthly. If you have a question for our 4-Way panel, please send it to them in care of the editor at To read more of The 4-Way columns or to listen to our podcasts, visit The 4-Way now.

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