Sex and Online Dating


What is it with online dating that turns normally cautious women into easy pickins’?

My friend Marnie, 36, recently had the classic online date-turned-one night stand, which ended—how else?—disappointingly. “I had taken a break from online dating,” she told me, “but I was ready to start again. I received a message from a guy who wrote: ‘Hey, I am not giving up. You haven't emailed me back, but I'd like to have coffee or a drink with you.’“

So, she decided to give it a try and sent him a note. He was quick to respond, writing: “I know it sounds like a line, but you have an AMAZING smile, the kind that I would love to bask in.”

She figured that with such compliments and persistence the guy definitely deserved a date. “I've never had anyone just interested in hooking up or at least I never knew it!” explained Marnie, a divorcee who lives in the Mission.

They decided to meet for drinks in her neighborhood. Throughout the evening, the guy said and did all the right things. “Everything was easy. He had Champagne with me, asked me what we should do next, totally took charge without being overbearing, He didn't act like he knew all about wine, was happy for the bartender to suggest things and was very friendly to the waiter.”

He ended up driving Marnie home; she figured they’d kiss and that would be that. Well, one thing led to another and—surprise, surprise—he spent the night. And—surprise, surprise again—he never called her back.

Sex and Online Dating
courtesy of Jaymast

Marnie is the perfect case in point for a recent study by The University of Texas School of Public Health that found one-third of all first Internet dates ends in sex. (I’m not even going to talk about the disturbing lack of safe sex practice, but it does bolster the following.) Researchers found that women gain a false sense of intimacy when meeting and emailing with someone online. In these situations, their usual guard is down, and they tend to project what they want in a man onto a man who may have none of those traits.

Needless to say, to my gal pals, if you’re going to sleep with an online hookup on the very first date, you're probably better off just treating it like a one night stand. I know, I know. You don’t do one night stands … Still, something to keep in mind.


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