Small-Town Sex


I went to my friend’s art show recently and ran into an old friend. He proceeded to point out his most recent ex along with her new boyfriend and then introduced me to his new girlfriend.

I turned around only to find my ex talking to my friend Mara’s ex. And where was Mara? She was meeting me at the show in just a few minutes.

photography by Julia Galdo

Some of the most urban centers have that “it’s a small world” thing going on: You run with a certain type of crowd and do the same kind of things. Together. In a few years’ time, everyone has slept with each other. Eventually, you gravitate away and into a new group of friends, or you get married.
Not so in San Francisco. This is just too small of a town to have so many segregated groups; they tender to overlap, creating a veritable 7x7 orgy—I’m referring to SF’s square miles, not the magazine, though it’s not a bad idea. ;-)
“Could this town be any smaller?” said my friend Lindsay to me over Christmas when we walked into a party together. I’d invited her to be my plus-one, and although she didn’t know the host, she did know three guys—they were the last three men she’d slept with in sequential order.
Yesterday, another friend Mary told me she was no longer friends with our mutual friend Tina. Apparently, Tina freaked out when they’d met for happy hour last week. Mary had mentioned the name of the new guy she was seeing, and Tina lost it. Didn’t Mary know this was the guy whom Tina had fallen in love with two years ago?

Tina had fallen for him just after four dates. Only problem was that he didn’t return the feeling. So, he stopped calling. But Tina still harbored hopes. (and apparently dibs as well!)
I say that we need to implement a lower statute of dating limitations in San Francisco because it’s virtually impossible to avoid these ex landmines.

Case in (extreme) point, not long ago, I knew three women who were dating the same recently divorced man. My jaw dropped when I heard the third friend in five days tell me she was dating this guy and did I know him? “He just got divorced and is a great catch!” she gushed. Talk about a small town!

With all that said, I’ve got a few questions for you:

Do you find fresh fish in this sea?
Are your exes everywhere?
Do you care if your friend sleeps with your ex?
Is this town shrinking?

Tell me everything.

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