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Advice & Anecdotes

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Really Know

“I feel kind of guilty,” Serena told me. “He didn’t ask if I had a boyfriend, but I also don’t want to lead him on. I’m only in it for the sex, but does he really need to know that after our first night together?”

“Well, it was your first date,” I sympathized. “Who says you have to lay out all your cards right away?”

Serena, who’s 39, lives in Cow Hollow, while her boyfriend lives in New York. They’re madly in love, but recognize that sometimes you just need to take care of business—with someone else. That said, they’re both allowed to see other people, but only for sex—no love, romance or long walks on the beach. (I forgot to ask whether sex on the beach was OK.)

Small-Town Sex

I went to my friend’s art show recently and ran into an old friend. He proceeded to point out his most recent ex along with her new boyfriend and then introduced me to his new girlfriend.

I turned around only to find my ex talking to my friend Mara’s ex. And where was Mara? She was meeting me at the show in just a few minutes.


photography by Julia Galdo

Sober Sex?

I’ve found that almost no one can with all honesty answer "yes" to this question: Have you ever hooked up with someone for the first time while stone-cold sober?

The first kiss, grope or dirty text is more often than not preceded by a good, stiff drink.


photography by Joseph Jean Rolland Dubé

Just this week, I heard these tales:

The Ups and Downs of Cleavage

If you can get past today’s fog, you’ll recall we had one of those beautiful, balmy summer weekends in the city. It was finally hot, and everyone was out in their summer garb: flips flops, shorts, sundresses, and for better or worse cleavage was out in force everywhere.



A bunch of us were sitting outside having our morning coffee on Saturday catching up on the week’s antics. The guys were doing their best to carry on the conversation, but their Wimbledon-paced head-turning was making it challenging.

Who’s Having Sex in SF?

Are you having sex in San Francisco? Tell me about it.

It’s well documented (at least on my show) that your single brothers and sisters in New York, Los Angeles and every other major American city (where lots of single people abound) think that THEY live in the worst dating town ever.

But casual sex, my friends, is definitely on the rise.

To clarify: casual sex, hooking up, etc., refers to “sexual activity outside the context of a romantic relationship, consisting of a range of informal sexual encounters.” This according to Wikipedia’s explanation.

Random Acts of Love (a.k.a. Sex)



Positano, Italy, is all about “the wedding.” This town loves its brides, and it loves its lace. It's kind of bizarre to inhabit a town that, besides for its beauty and tourist economy, is known for its white linen and lace. Most of the town’s windows are draped in the frilly white cloth, and I saw no less than 14 brides this week. On top of that, it seems like everyone’s here on their honeymoon. Everyone except me of course.


Women Talk About Sex

Whenever I tell people what I do, I always have to deal with those awkward first few minutes in which I’m certain they’re thinking one of following: Is she a prostitute? A slut? A sex maniac? Is she insane?

Once they understand that I have a talk show not about my sex life per se, but about those of other people, they want to know who’s my favorite guest.

For the record, I don’t have a favorite (nor I do play favorites with ice cream flavors, colors or vacation spots), but I do love the shows that I have with women just sitting around and talking about sex.
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