Forget online dating, try looking for love the old fashioned way: In a panel of three people vying for a date with the same sweetie. Pioneered in the 70s with The Dating Game and continuing on in reality TV, it’s a tried and true way of finding love—or at least drama.
Walking into a room where everyone else is looking for a date (and probably a relationship) is absurdly comforting. A profound moment of "So this is where all the single people my age are — in Dogpatch eating cheese." So it was with the Try Me event last Saturday. Here are some tips I picked up at the event, which also hold true for bars, parties, the grocery store, or anywhere you're feeling brave.
Beth Cook and Jen Corbett have a lofty goal: to completely change San Franciso’s dating scene. After gazing in disbelief at the roster of amazing people who want relationships and just aren’t finding them, the long time friends decided to take control. With backgrounds in PR and marketing - and an infallible sense of how to excise the bullshit that so often accompanies romance - Beth and Jen have hefty doses of tough love to dispense and an honest desire to help people find their match.
“What men don’t realize is that this city could be your oyster if you ask a woman out,” says Beth. “Because no one does that.”
I recently reunited with a former high-school girlfriend and we’d been having a great time until I told my asshole brother about her a few weeks ago. He flippantly responded that he’d had sex with her shortly after she and I broke up. I’ve asked her about it and she says that although they dated a few times, they never slept together. I honestly don’t know who’s telling the truth, and it’s bothering me a lot. Now it’s hard to take her seriously, like I can’t imagine bringing her to a family function anymore.
I’m dating a guy who has recently been making some not-too-subtle hints that I wax. He says we will both enjoy sex better. I'm naturally a bit furrier than average, and fulfilling this request would present a near constant and painful challenge. I’ve told him I’ll wax when he does. That seems fair to me, but he's not taking my response seriously.
I've been seeing this great guy—hot, thoughtful, funny, professional. But I've had two girlfriends mention to me that he seems gay. (Doesn't act like it in bed.) I don't want to weird him out by asking, but I also don't want to get serious with him if he might someday "realize" he's gay.
I'm working part-time, going to school and, to be completely honest, occasionally date guys I'm not interested in long-term primarily to get a decent meal or an event invite. I even put a profile up on a dating site known for its moneyed bachelors. A few of my friends are giving me grief for it, but I see dating and even marriage as a kind of transaction and I think people who claim otherwise are kidding themselves. Right?
He Said: I don’t see a moral dilemma here since guys looking at your profile and contacting you will have ample opportunity to make their own decisions. Also, I have a feeling that any guy who dated you would figure out pretty quickly what your game was and either play along or move along. And finally I have to agree with you that dates and marriages are calculated transactions. It’s terribly unromantic, but all of us screen our potential mates by asking: Are they good enough, and am I?
Q: I met a guy on OKCupid. We’ve IMed, and he’s asked me out, which is all fine. But I can’t Google him, and he’s not on Facebook or even on LinkedIn. I notice I feel uncomfortable about going out with him. Am I crazy? I don’t think he’s a serial killer or anything but even my 76-year-old Cincinnati grandmother shows up on a Google search these days!
I'm a successful, moderately good-looking guy, in great shape, good personality (or so I'm told), single and alone in this city. I am in my early 40s but look 10 years younger and every one of my friends gives me the "how are you still single?" routine. I'm somewhat new to the city, and I think I'm in the wrong venues: Bars/nightclubs just aren't doing it. I don't want a one-night stand, temporary fix, or "hipster life." I want substance, support, conversation, debate, challenges and an honest-to-god connection. If you know the secret spots in the city where I should be going, or things I should be doing, please give me a heads up? I'm trying my best to make the so-called "horrible dating scene" in SF better, but I'm just not having any luck. —SF Bachelor
I’m a 33-year-old, confident single gal who often dishes out dating advice to my friends. Over the past six months I’ve developed a friendship with "Mr. M,” 12 years my senior, and it became evident that we share amazing chemistry. I’m extremely attracted to him. Trouble is, I want to be in a committed relationship. Mr. M’s divorce ended badly, and he clearly harbors bitterness towards marriage; he also admits to having issues with even non-marital commitments. But he’s extremely fun to be around and we always have a wonderful time. On two separate occasions, after a long evening of dinner, wine and flowing conversation, we hooked up. I realize he can’t offer the relationship I want, so am I playing with fire by sleeping with him? By crossing that line have I pigeoned-holed us as "friends with benefits"? I thought I was long over my attraction to unavailable men. I am open to meeting and dating someone else. but I have such a weakness for Mr. M. Am I doomed?