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dating

Avoiding a Facebook Stalker

I recently met a guy I'm interested in. We flirted, exchanged numbers, and the next day he friended me on Facebook and I accepted. Then, a week later, I got a friend request from his estranged wife (they are long separated) and from someone who I think is an ex-girlfriend of his. He doesn’t think it’s any big deal, but I’m spooked. Do you think these women are FB stalkers?

Trying to Date an SF Lameboy

I hear a lot about SF guys being unable to commit to a longterm relationship, but I’m having trouble finding one who can simply commit to a date! Whether I meet the guy through friends, while out on the town or online, what I’ve been finding are a lot of men who are GOP (great on paper)—educated, career-minded—but who flake like dandruff. Last Sunday a guy showed up for brunch an hour late, in his workout clothes and covered in sweat (all to "train for a 5k"). Other guys have FOMO (fear of missing out) and never commit to a time or place, just in case something else comes up.  My girlfriends and I sometimes swap and forward these guys’ hilarious messages. Here’s one thread:

Lame-o: "When do I get to see you next?"

Me: "Whenever."

Lame-o: "Well, I can't this weekend. Maybe some other time?"

Me: "Oh, ok."

Lame-o: "Ok, bye."

Any advice on how to find an SF guy who can show up to a real date?

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Welcome to our new weekly blog of half-truths and educated guesses on love, sex and relationships in SF. Here's who's dishing the advice:

 

He is a novelist living in SF who’s had one marriage, two live-in relationships, 10 girlfriends and a very wise therapist.

She is an SF health journalist who’s been married, single, communal, and bi-curious, and has studied tantra and orgasm—for research purposes, of course.

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