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Seven Films to Look Forward to in 2013

If the beginning of your year is like ours, it's jam-packed as ever with new rules, hopes and promises of good behavior... all made mostly in vain. With clear eyes, we make resolutions we're sure to break almost immediately and jot down lists of unrealistic goals that are soon to be lost behind a desk somewhere.

The first few weeks are, at their heart, a fantasy of sorts. In that spirit, instead of starting the year off with a list of the films we all know will be huge in 2013 (A Good Day to Die Hard or The Lone Ranger with Johnny Depp for example), we've elected to begin on a more idealistic foot with a quick look at the deserving few we hope to be seeing a whole lot more of in the year to come. Mark your calendars!

Gone Fishin’ Beaches – See You in July

Best of Hookers Reel 2007-2008

Greetings* earth people … the Dude is not in.* Where is he? Not sure, a privacy clause in his contract prohibits us from asking but we’re laying bets. 

A)    MRF’s gone fishing.
B)    MRF’s finishing his pilot script for his TV series.
C)    MRF’s building a state-of-the-art Iron Suit to battle terrorists.
D)    MRF’ digging through Peruvian tombs in search of Conquistador mummies.

Foot Fisted at the Hollywood Roosevelt

Greetings and salutations* film nerds from the “Delirium Tremems Suite” at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel where legend has it, tinsel town rummies like F. Scott Fitzgerald, John “the Profile” Barrymore and Errol “N Like” Flynn once yakked their weight in cocktail onions after beer bonging many martinis through Kong’s top hat at the 1934 Academy Awards.

All those scoundrels (including Kong) died of liver failure and went to hell, but MRF’s gonna live forever! Right? Fock me. I gotta lie down ... What are you still in the hall, make a drink, please. Keeping with tradition, behold the debauched splendor of the present, the infamous DT Suite (i.e. thrashed pool cabana #217) still smoldering from the Cinco de Mayo fiesta Hooker’s Reel threw to celebrate the premier of my friends’ movie the Foot Fist Way

In Search of the Gonzo Godfather’s Secret Underground Lair

Greetings and salutations* film nerds from 200 feet below the grassy, peacock-laden Aspen, Colorado compound of the late, great mad GZA himself Dr. Hunter S. Thompson. What the hell’s a swanky SF urbanite like the Maestro doing spelunking down a dead man’s godforsaken wishing well after dark? If you Nosy Parkers must know, I’m dangling from a climbing rope (sporting an E.R.I. headlamp) and gripping a treasure map written on the back of an Allman Brothers album all for a good cause man …

Why Do Summer Movies Suck So Hard?

Hearty greetings from the second stateliest concrete erection in Washington D.C. proper. I’m not talking about the Washington Monument, Mayor Berry’s highrise crackpipe-in-the-sky or Clinton’s curved trouser bubba, I’m talking historic doorsteps film nerds where the tiny wastrel actor Mickey Rooney once uttered the famous Ruthian line, “This is the house the Mickster built …”

Norah Jones Pigs Out and Dies of a Broken Heart

My Blueberry Nights
My Blueberry Nights;
courtesy of the Weinstein Company

Searching for a Groovy Kind of Love In My Blueberry Nights

Blazing Wonder Joints on the <i>Pineapple Express</i>

Pineapple Express
Pineapple Express; courtesy of Sony Pictures

Greetings and salutations
* freaks and geeks …

Crashing the <i>VF</i> Oscar Party With A Silicone Sex Doll

courtesy of Touchstone Pictures

Sent From: Murphy Hooker’s Wireless Handheld Device (11:28 p.m.) 2/24/2008

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Ghost Buster

Be Kind, Rewind: Celebrating Movies With Heart And Soul

courtesy of New Line Cinema
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