I don't know much—er, anything—about football. I know that this year's Superbowl it's the Indianapolis Colts versus the New Orleans Saints, and because I like to make judgements based on food, I'm going to be rooting for the Saints. And while I might be a little weak on the finer points of touchdowns, first downs and tackles, I have very extensive knowledge in the field of salty snacks. I am a salty snack master from way back, and Superbowl Sunday gives me ample opportunity to eat things I normally don't. For example, I have not yet sampled Doritoes' zesty taco chipotle ranch flavor. I know, where have I been?