I'm in my mid-20s and recently hit it off with a 30-something guy at a bar. He's finalizing a divorce and has a couple of kids; I've been contemplating a break from my three-year boyfriend. He advised me to leave while I'm young, as he knew his marriage was a mistake from the beginning. We've been texting, hanging out, and we've kissed. He's enjoying the single life and acts like a guy in his 20s: last-minute plans, indecisiveness. But sometimes I think he wants more than friendship or booty because he'll act chivalrous, hold my hand, and say certain things. For my part, I don't have the heart/strength to break it off with my boyfriend right now, yet I'm flirting with this man because I've never really dated much. I've either been totally single or in a relationship.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and a half and although we have really intimate talks, I feel like I don't know him. He's told me he loves me, confessed he's cheated on every girlfriend he's ever had, but says he feel differently about me. He's thoughtful, buys me gifts, and plans romantic weekends, but I often can't get a hold of him during the week. I’ll call and leave a message and then get a short text response an hour or two later. When we're together, I feel like everything is fine, but when we're apart, I'm not sure. I don't know how much of my suspicion that he may be seeing someone else is a projection and how much is common sense.
I hear a lot about SF guys being unable to commit to a longterm relationship, but I’m having trouble finding one who can simply commit to a date! Whether I meet the guy through friends, while out on the town or online, what I’ve been finding are a lot of men who are GOP (great on paper)—educated, career-minded—but who flake like dandruff. Last Sunday a guy showed up for brunch an hour late, in his workout clothes and covered in sweat (all to "train for a 5k"). Other guys have FOMO (fear of missing out) and never commit to a time or place, just in case something else comes up. My girlfriends and I sometimes swap and forward these guys’ hilarious messages. Here’s one thread:
Lame-o: "When do I get to see you next?"
Lame-o: "Well, I can't this weekend. Maybe some other time?"
Me: "Oh, ok."
Lame-o: "Ok, bye."
Any advice on how to find an SF guy who can show up to a real date?