Emily Morse

My commitment issues are out of control. Lately they've manifested themselves in my calling plan. I've been in a committed relationship with Verizon for two years. Things are good, we have great communication, calls are never dropped and the friendly tech person answers by the second ring, sometimes even the first. I had no complaints…until I saw the iPhone.

I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time with friends decoding text messages, deciphering voicemails and dissecting ambiguous conversations.

Women tend to explore relationship scenarios - sometimes ad nauseum.  I get comfort from studies that show women are biologically wired for such conversations, but sometimes I wonder: is this all for naught?

To wit: This was emailed to me recently. While it's a joke and is good for a laugh, is it also true?


HER DIARY

We ask friends for advice but do we listen? They say love is blind.  If that’s the case aren’t we blind to advice as well?

I’ve spent countless hours with friend’s analyzing relationships.  Often, it’s crystal clear to me she needs to dump him. Sometimes we discuss this same guy for months, week, years. The same issues, But nothing happens. Until it does happen and it’s not usually because of anything I’ve said.

Do Italians make better lovers? Are the French more daring? Are Americans oversexed? Are San Franciscans’ proclivities off the charts?
 
I know, I know, you can’t stereotype a nation. But I’ve always wanted to know: Why do stereotypes exist if not to play with them?
 
So if you’ve wanted to experiment with international lovers, just head to Union Square. There’s no time like the present to shag a foreigner. The dollar is plunging and the tourists are shopping.
 

My list of seven sexy things this week....

1. Sex in the News: Noisy Sex Lands Woman in Court

1. Bang Bang Variety Hour presents: Menagerie
Saturday, August 2, 10pm (doors open at 9pm)
Kimo's Penthouse Lounge
1351 Polk St.
bangbangvariety@gmail.com

1. Topless A Go Go Returns!
Daily, 6pm–2am, Condor Club, 560 Broadway, 415-781-8222

As we head into the end of May and the beginning of summer, keep these (mostly) local events on your radar should you feel the need to turn up the heat.



1. Masturbate-a-thon
Sunday, May 25, at the Center for Sex & Culture downtown
Just think: Sex with someone you love, and for a great cause.
 

So it’s the men in socks killing our sex drive!

A new British survey in the Sun revealed that “one in five couples never have sex” and “more than 44 percent of men keep their socks on while they make love.”

It seems as though the Brits could use some sort of sex challenge as well.