Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club, 1031 Kearny St., 415-434-1301
Cover Charge: Your best deal is a $5 cover during the day. After 7 p.m., the price jumps to $10 on Sunday and Monday, $15 Tuesday through Saturday. On weekends, the price jumps to $20 after 2 a.m.
Ambiance: A fresh-faced crowd and basic setup: tables, bar, low light, loud pop music.
What You Get: It’s $20 for a short lap dance in full view of the club, $100 for three songs in the VIP dance lounge, and in the champagne room it’s $250 for 30 minutes.
Bargain: Before 7 p.m., well drinks and beer are just $2 (Tuesday and Wednesday) or $3.50 (Thursday and Friday). Follow @SF_Hustlerclub on Twitter for rotating deals and free entry opportunities.
Mitchell Brothers O’Farrell Theater, 895 O’Farrell St., 415 441-1930.
Cover Charge: $20 before 7 p.m., $40 after
Ambiance: I like the New York live stage quite a bit with its three banks of seats. The snack bar is a nostalgia trip. And the dancers are seriously hot.
What You Get: A private nude lap dance costs $40 (five minutes), $80 (10 minutes), or $100 (15 minutes), plus a suggested $50 tip, though everything—and I do mean everything—seems pretty negotiable. Feel free to dicker.
Bargain: There aren’t many bargains to be had at Mitchell’s, but remember: This is an SF institution, like $6 tomatoes at the Ferry Building. Keep it in perspective.
Lusty Lady, 1033 Kearny St., 415 391-3991.
Cover Charge: None
Ambiance: Technically, this isn’t a strip club at all, but a peep show. Since you’re in a private booth, it’s amenable to couples, and because it’s worker-owned (and unionized to boot), the dancers here project an empowered, sex-positive vibe.
What You Get: There are no lap dances available, but the Private Pleasures booth offers behind-glass, one-on-one encounters for your viewing. They can start around $30, though everything is negotiated with the dancer.
Crazy Horse Gentlemen’s Club, 980 Market St., 415-771-6259.
Cover Charge: $15 from noon-1 p.m. and 6-7 p.m.; $20 from 1-6 p.m.; $25 after 7 p.m. Ladies get a $5 discount at all times.
Ambiance: The Crazy Horse is all focused around one well-lit main stage. It’s clean enough and has a charming (for a strip club) old movie house vibe.
What You Get: Clothed and topless lap dances in a semi-private room are available for $20 and $40 respectively. Fifteen minutes of fully nude fun in a private booth will cost you a Benjamin.
Bargain: If you’ve still got your college ID handy, you can get two-for-one entry on Wednesdays.
Gold Club, 650 Howard St., 415-536-0300.
Cover Charge: On Sunday nights, it’s $20, though it’s free Monday through Thursday before 7 p.m (after 7 it’s $20). On Fridays before 7 p.m., it’s only $5, but Friday and Saturday nights after 7 p.m., it’s $20. Got that?
Ambiance: The Gold Club has an upstairs VIP level that costs $10 to get into. Otherwise, it’s a nice grouping of tables and banquettes with a “Staying near the Moscone Center and couldn’t sort out what else to do” vibe.
What You Get: Lap dances run you either $20, $60, or $100 depending on how bare and for how long.
Bargain: Check out the Gold Club’s Facebook page, and print out a no-restrictions free pass.
*Published in the February 2011 issue of 7x7. Subscribe to 7x7 magazine here.
For our in-depth tour of SF's strip clubs by Aaron Britt, click here.