The Thirty Year-Old Virgin


by The 4-Way Panel

Dear 4-Way,

My girlfriend is turning thirty in two months and she’s never had sex. We’ve been dating for about seven months and she was honest with me from the beginning that having sex was something that conflicted with her religious beliefs. The thing is, she’s perfectly okay with having oral sex, anal sex, and masturbating together (sometimes to porn)—just not vaginal sex. I know most guys would be fine with these alternatives, but I’m starting to feel a little guilty about corrupting her. She’s someone I can see myself with long term and I want to do the right thing, but I’m only human and I get horny. Should I go cold turkey all together? Or be okay with it if she is?—JF

Darren    The gay man’s perspective: Darren Maddox

JF, it’s her body and you have to respect that no matter what. However, it’s a little confusing to me that she’s willing to go anal and masturbate to porn with you, yet she lacks the desire to have vaginal sex due to religious beliefs.

You aren’t corrupting her. She’s already corrupted. It sounds like she’s just saving something special for one special person. If that’s you, then you’ll know it in time. If not, respect her wishes and thank God for porn. Keep in mind that there are tons of options to vaginal sex and she sounds open to trying them. Rejoice, my friend! We hear from so many people with the exact opposite of your problem. They want to explore topics such as anal sex or porn with their partners and they don’t even know how to bring it up. Take this opportunity to explore yourself and your own creativity, as well as those of your girlfriend.

Check in tomorrow to read the straight woman's perspective by Rebecca Brown.

The 4-Way is published monthly. If you have a question for our 4-Way panel, please send it to them in care of the editor at To read more of The 4-Way columns or to listen to our podcasts, visit The 4-Way now.

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