Asking price: $18,500,000
Year built: 1920
Number of bedrooms: Seven
Number of bathrooms: Five full, two half, all "flooded with natural light"
If you're not ready to spend your millions on an apartment in the Mission (newly declared as SF's most desired area), throw down on 164 Sea Cliff Avenue–the third-most expensive home for sale in the city. Built in 1920, it was originally designed by famed architect Albert Farr, though it's been extensively remodeled since.
This behemoth is four levels of pure luxury. Perched high on a hill above the Pacific, you'll be lulled to sleep each night by the sound of waves crashing on the shore below...so I guess you can trash the iPhone app that used to do that for you. It has a separate breakfast room next to the fully-equipped kitchen, as well as a climate-controlled, 1,000-bottle wine cellar and an entrance just for caterers. Then there's the gym, elevator, media room, library, and family room. If you're anything like Cher Horowitz from Clueless, you'll be relieved to find out there is a programmable lighting system throughout the house (and an audio system so you can pretend you're living in a music video).
My favorite feature? Because I'm constantly dreaming of hanging out in hot tubs (aren't you?), the fact that this house has a hot tub on a terrace (amidst other "cascading terraces" and "cliffside gardens") overlooking the Pacific Ocean is just too much for my tiny brain to handle. Not to mention the fact that you can just hop down to Baker Beach whenever you feel like it. Can someone buy me this house for Valentine's Day?