I hooked up with someone, everything went well, and in the morning he left before I woke up. But he left a pair of prescription glasses behind. I want to return them, but he isn't answering my texts. Do I write it off as his loss? Do I hold on to the glasses in case he decides to come back for them?
He Said: About six months ago, a friend of mine hooked up with a woman who left her Prada (or knockoff) sunglasses at his place. He was hopeful that she left them as an excuse to get back together but after swapping messages with her, she asked him to leave them at the bar where they met and said she would get them later. The bartender he left them with said he knew who she was and added that she was normally at the bar with her boyfriend. Case closed.
It’s possible your date hasn’t responded because he or she gave you someone else’s cell number, but regardless it’s likely he doesn’t want contact with you. If you want to be thoughtful, you could send one more text saying that you’ll leave the specs with someone at the location where you two hooked up. Hanging on to the specs could be a kind of ransom—as in, If you ever want to see your glasses again, you must contact me. But I wouldn’t do that.
She Said: There are only two realistic possibilities here: He gave you the wrong cell number, or he's gotten your texts and isn't coming back for his glasses. Who knows why? He could be married, engaged, running for office, immature, completely averse to the slightest awkwardness or conflict, or have an STD he fears you've discovered by now. In any case, he's no prize, and you sound like you know that already. Put the glasses somewhere out of sight—under your bathroom sink with other toiletries, in the back of your closet or some storage box. On the slight chance he's out of the country or hospitalized and later gets in touch, he can pick them up. If not, you won't see them until the next time you move, at which point you can toss them.
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