Today is a good day for alcohol.
Step aside, coffee. This is a job for alcohol.
You're free to drink all you want on Independence Day.
I pretend to like people every day. It's called being an adult. It's why we're allowed to buy booze.
“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.” - Benjamin Franklin
Lips that touch liquor touch other lips quicker.
Less thinking. More drinking.
Warning: Your check liver light may come on this week.
It doesn't matter if the glass is half-empty or half-full. There is clearly room for more wine.
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