I've been dating a guy for four months, and we’ve had so many ups and downs. He's had issues with substance abuse, and he has a hard time communicating his feelings. He doesn't have patience when I say the wrong things, and he makes a huge deal out of it and yells at me when we try to resolve an issue. I've gone to therapy to see what I can fix, and have learned not to let my negative thoughts get in the way of communicating. But lately he’s been dishonest on top of it all. He went to Hawaii alone, saying he had to clear his head. But I found out on Facebook he met up with his ex-girlfriend there. He blames me for his inability to be honest, saying he was afraid I’d get mad. I feel betrayed and disrespected, and I don't know if I can trust him.
Last weekend I went to a party with some friends, and the next day my boyfriend asked how it was. I hadn't mentioned the party to him, but it turns out he read it in my calendar! He told me that he knew my password and had been reading my email for months. I was floored and pissed. He said it was no big deal, that he was just seeing if I was being straight with him. He also said he didn’t have any secrets and offered to let me read his email anytime I wanted. I'm seriously thinking of ending the relationship over this but am not sure if I'm overreacting. Is this common?
Recently, my partner broke up with me after 38 years together. I admit I screwed up in the last five years of the relationship, but I’d go back in a second. The loneliness of single living is really getting me down. Coming home to an empty apartment and eating alone is not where I imagined myself to be at age 62. How can I try to reunite? I think my ex would be up for it. It’s just a matter of how to convince her.
I’m a 30-something woman who has always identified as straight (with a little bi-curiosity). I’ve had two one-night experiences with women—one was hot, one was just the opposite—but honestly, I have no desire to be in a relationship with a woman. I love men, physically and emotionally. The weird thing is the fantasies that run in my head often involve women’s bodies—men’s too, but there are lots of female parts. Is this because women’s bodies are so pretty? Have I seen too much porn? Maybe I’m more bisexual than I think. How common is it for a straight woman to fantasize so much about other women?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and a half and although we have really intimate talks, I feel like I don't know him. He's told me he loves me, confessed he's cheated on every girlfriend he's ever had, but says he feel differently about me. He's thoughtful, buys me gifts, and plans romantic weekends, but I often can't get a hold of him during the week. I’ll call and leave a message and then get a short text response an hour or two later. When we're together, I feel like everything is fine, but when we're apart, I'm not sure. I don't know how much of my suspicion that he may be seeing someone else is a projection and how much is common sense.
I've been with my boyfriend for three years, and we've always had a great sex life. We went to college together, he gave me my first orgasm, we've achieved a lot together, we've got the same sense of humor, we love each other, and we're best friends. However, in the last few months, I'm afraid we've become solely that—best friends. We both work 50-hour weeks, but in the past we've been able to balance work and playtime. Since about April, however, we've undergone a radical change in our sex life. We went from having sex at least once a day to (maybe) once every nine days. It happened fairly suddenly. He just stopped initiating. When I attempt to seduce him, he lets me, but barely reciprocates. He barely touches me or looks at me. It's been breaking my heart.
My live-in boyfriend inherited a lot of money from his uncle five years ago, so he’s set financially. He doesn’t need a job right now, but it bothers me that he doesn’t have one. He pays his bills and his half of our dates. Still, I feel uneasy about committing to a man without a plan. Lately, I’ve been feeling resentful when I’m at work and he’s spending all day on the golf course.
He Said: Billionaire Warren Buffett once advised that the perfect amount of inheritance was “enough money so they would feel like they could do anything but not so much that they could do nothing.” If your boyfriend has been unemployed and screwing off for five years, I’d be concerned too. Even fortunate people who don’t need to grind out a paycheck should have enough passion to want to do something productive. The quality of life we enjoy now is the result of the work of our forebears, and to spend your life not trying to somehow improve the world is lazy and ungrateful.
My boyfriend and I have a great life together. He’s kind, sensitive, attractive. He loves me, and we don’t fight. But the relationship isn’t satisfying: It lacks emotional intimacy, a deep connection, and laughter, mainly. My dilemma is whether or not I’m asking for too much. Shouldn’t a great guy, house, dog, and job be enough? It seems that in this city, we’re told we can always do better, but at some point, it just feels greedy. Can one relationship really satisfy all my needs?
My boyfriend and I are either too much alike or he's copying me, and I don't know what to do about it. Both of us started out pretty versatile about being either a top or a bottom. But for whatever reason, I gravitated to the top more (someone had to!) and have stayed there for much of the last year. Recently though, he told me that he wants us to start trading off again. While I was talking this over with friends, they mentioned that they thought my boyfriend was just emulating me, pointing out that he's started to dress more like me, changed the way he talks, etc. So I’m not sure whether he really wants to be top or whether this is just another way for him to copy me.
I’ve been seeing my boyfriend about six months, and he recently told me he loved me. I said it back, and I meant it. The trouble is that now he’s saying it a lot—like several times a day—and while I definitely love him, I don’t really want to say it that often. I have nothing against verbal affection, but I don’t like overusing “I love you” as a tonic for anxiety, boredom, awkwardness or just to fill space. And I feel like that’s what’s happening. When I say it, I want to deeply feel it, and I don’t want it to become commonplace and throwaway. But it’s totally weird to not say it back. Do I remain silent? Tell him how I feel? I don’t want to push him away.
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