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Two Sense

Two Sense: Couples Who Fight In Front of Other People

Q: For the most part, things seem pretty good between my girlfriend and me. But give her a few drinks at a dinner party, and the zingers start to fly—always in front of our friends. Last month she “joked” about my taste in movies and just the other night she made a very nasty remark about me not doing my share of housework. The next day, I usually confront her about it, but the discussion turns into a “You were nasty/No I wasn’t” one instead of a “Let’s deal with the underlying issue” one. What do I do?
 

Two Sense: Mom Not Mum About Her Affair

My mother has always tried to be more my friend than a parent. Sometimes this is sweet, sometimes it's embarrassing, but lately it's become positively nauseating. She's started having an affair (and she's still married to my dad) and can't wait to tell me all the lurid details. I've told her I don't want to hear them but even after I threaten to tell my father—who’s been a wonderful husband to her—she keeps the stories coming. How do I deal with her? And should I really tell my dad?
 

The Great Waxing Debate

I’m dating a guy who has recently been making some not-too-subtle hints that I wax. He says we will both enjoy sex better. I'm naturally a bit furrier than average, and fulfilling this request would present a near constant and painful challenge. I’ve told him I’ll wax when he does. That seems fair to me, but he's not taking my response seriously.
 

Is the 'Forsake All Others' Part of Marriage Vows Dated?

Q: I recently asked my girlfriend of three years to get married. Neither of us is religious but some members of our families are so we decided to have a church wedding. I'm wondering if we could change the vows though. I have every intention of being faithful, and have done a pretty good job so far, but promising to "forsake all others" as long as I live sounds unrealistic these days so why bring it up?

Two Sense: New Motherhood and Sex Drives

Six months ago I had a gorgeous baby girl with my live-in boyfriend of five years and right now I have absolutely zero interest in sex. I'm sure my libido will rebound someday, but right now I'm both enjoying motherhood and exhausted by it. Unfortunately, boyfriend's libido, if anything, has increased since our daughter was born. I'm seriously thinking of telling him to go get laid just to get him off my back, but that seems crazy. Or is it?
 

Two Sense: Laws of Attraction

About a year ago my husband and I started a business that we run out of our apartment. We're sometimes together 24 hours a day and it’s killing our love life. It’s been a month since we’ve had sex. I see this as a problem and he thinks this is just a phase that will work itself out and that we shouldn’t worry about it. Help!
 

Two Sense: Is My Boyfriend Gay?

I've been seeing this great guy—hot, thoughtful, funny, professional. But I've had two girlfriends mention to me that he seems gay. (Doesn't act like it in bed.) I don't want to weird him out by asking, but I also don't want to get serious with him if he might someday "realize" he's gay.
 

Two Sense: Her Orgasm, His Ego

My girlfriend and I have lots of great sex lasting usually an hour or so, and she regularly orgasms either from oral sex or intercourse. When she doesn’t (about a quarter of the time), I’m not sure when to keep trying versus move on to my own orgasm. I’m a sensitive guy, and I don’t like ending without her. But she says she’s fine with her frequency of orgasm and enjoys sex either way. And yet, this nags at me. I feel like I should be doing more, or she should be. Help.

Should I Tell My Girlfriend About a Meaningless, Drunk Kiss?

My long-distance girlfriend lives in England, and I’ll be rejoining her there in nine months. Last night, I kissed another girl (whom I don’t even remotely like) for a second or two, after which I realized what I was doing and explained that I had a girlfriend. Though it’s no excuse, it’s worth noting that I was mega-drunk. I know I’ve cheated. Do I tell my girlfriend and possibly ruin our relationship or keep it to myself and live with the guilt?

He Said: Unless it’s one of your girlfriend’s blood relatives or BFs, a two-second kiss while drunk is a relatively mild betrayal. And luckily, guilt is an ugly, blunt, but effective tool we use to corral our own bad behavior. It sounds like this was a one-time slip on your part, so maybe you don’t need to beat yourself bloody.

Two Sense: Dating for Dollars

I'm working part-time, going to school and, to be completely honest, occasionally date guys I'm not interested in long-term primarily to get a decent meal or an event invite. I even put a profile up on a dating site known for its moneyed bachelors. A few of my friends are giving me grief for it, but I see dating and even marriage as a kind of transaction and I think people who claim otherwise are kidding themselves. Right?

He Said: I don’t see a moral dilemma here since guys looking at your profile and contacting you will have ample opportunity to make their own decisions. Also, I have a feeling that any guy who dated you would figure out pretty quickly what your game was and either play along or move along. And finally I have to agree with you that dates and marriages are calculated transactions. It’s terribly unromantic, but all of us screen our potential mates by asking: Are they good enough, and am I?

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