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Two Sense

Two Sense: Dealing with "The Daily Grind"

My boyfriend of two years wants sex every night. I prefer two or three times a week. I love him, but I feel pressured every time I get into bed. There’s no regard to my mood, stress or what’s happening between us. If I say “no,” he sulks; if I say “yes” when I don’t want to, it’s usually blah. I feel like this pattern is ruining the good sex we could be having if he’d just lay off a little. Why don’t guys understand that quantity does not equal quality?


He Said: While women think of emotional connection as a prelude to sex, men often think of sex as a prelude to emotional connection. So at least some of your man’s desire for sex might also be a desire for emotional intimacy.

How Long Should I Stay at His Place After a Casual Hookup?

From a man’s point of view, how long should I stay at his place after a casual hookup or one-night stand? What goes through his head if I get up and go right away versus wait an hour or so versus leave in the morning? Does it actually matter?

The STD Discussion

At what point do you disclose an STD and how? I have genital herpes and seldom have outbreaks, but I haven't told my boyfriend of three months. We've been through HIV testing, we're monogamous, and I'm on the pill, so we don't use condoms anymore. With the treatments available, I won't likely give it to him, but not telling him seems dishonest.
 

Avoiding a Facebook Stalker

I recently met a guy I'm interested in. We flirted, exchanged numbers, and the next day he friended me on Facebook and I accepted. Then, a week later, I got a friend request from his estranged wife (they are long separated) and from someone who I think is an ex-girlfriend of his. He doesn’t think it’s any big deal, but I’m spooked. Do you think these women are FB stalkers?

Why Is My Girlfriend So Jealous? (DUH!)

My girlfriend and I have been dating on and off for over two years. In the beginning, one thing keeping our relationship stagnant was the fact that I thought I had romantic feelings toward one of my closest female friends of five years, and had admitted this to my girlfriend. When I realized I did not have these feelings for the friend, I was ecstatic and fully committed to my girlfriend. The last eight months have been some of the greatest of my life—that is, except when this friend and I try to make plans to see one another. My girlfriend becomes abrasive and questions everything about the interaction, claiming it's a "date." She calls and texts constantly, and I have even caught her reading texts to my friend behind my back.

Trying to Date an SF Lameboy

I hear a lot about SF guys being unable to commit to a longterm relationship, but I’m having trouble finding one who can simply commit to a date! Whether I meet the guy through friends, while out on the town or online, what I’ve been finding are a lot of men who are GOP (great on paper)—educated, career-minded—but who flake like dandruff. Last Sunday a guy showed up for brunch an hour late, in his workout clothes and covered in sweat (all to "train for a 5k"). Other guys have FOMO (fear of missing out) and never commit to a time or place, just in case something else comes up.  My girlfriends and I sometimes swap and forward these guys’ hilarious messages. Here’s one thread:

Lame-o: "When do I get to see you next?"

Me: "Whenever."

Lame-o: "Well, I can't this weekend. Maybe some other time?"

Me: "Oh, ok."

Lame-o: "Ok, bye."

Any advice on how to find an SF guy who can show up to a real date?

Is it Inappropriate to Throw a Bachelor Party for Your Second Marriage?

My girlfriend and I recently got engaged, and all my guy friends—especially the married ones with kids—are talking about throwing me a bachelor party in Vegas. This is my second marriage, and I feel like it’s inappropriate to throw a (second) big bachelor party. What do you think?

Is It Wrong to Not Wear Your Wedding Ring?

I’ve been married two years and my husband always “forgets” to wear his wedding ring. He takes it off to exercise or cook and then just leaves it off. He admits he doesn’t like wearing it because he isn’t a “jewelry guy,” and it bugs his finger. Naturally, I don’t like this one little bit. What do I do?

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