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Two Sense

Two Sense: My Wife Won't Stop Telling Me How Much Weight I've Gained

Exercise Couples

What do you say about people who comment on their partner's weight? My wife has taken several chances to remind me recently that I've gained about 20 pounds since we got married a few years ago. It's not like I'm obese, and it's also not that I'm unhealthy. I work out regularly, eat a fairly good diet, consume about a dozen drinks/beers a week. I'm in my early 40s and I attribute the gain mostly to my metabolism slowing down and, frankly, her amazing home cooking. But come on—20 pounds isn't all that much, so why is she ragging on me? I want to come right out and ask her if I'm unattractive to her because she's usually not the nagging type. And I feel like if the situation were reversed, she'd go running to her girlfriends telling them what a beast I am for calling her "fat." What should I do?

Two Sense: I'm In Love with My Gay Best Friend

Gay Best Friend

I know this sounds like an awful Jennifer Aniston movie, but here goes. I’m a straight woman, 28, in love with my gay best friend, who is 26. We’ve been pals since college and now we live across the hall from each other in Noe Valley. It's wonderful, from shopping to movies to hitting the bars, both gay and non-gay. One of our favorite things to is open a bottle of wine and Netflix a movie. He's everything a girl or a guy would want: smart, sensitive, cute, and considerate. We've even made out after a night of drinking or fallen to sleep, cuddling, after an evening on his couch. The problem, of course, is that while he's having the time of his life (no, really, I can hear him through his front door with an endless procession of hotties), I’m pining for him. He grumbles occasionally about not having a boyfriend, but I can only think about him. Guys call, but I’m not interested. I know, I’m crazy, right?

Two Sense: Once I Start Online Dating, When Do I Turn My Profile Off?

I've been online dating for about three years after my divorce. My story is typical: I've met a lot of fine women, but nothing has stuck. After a few dates, or a few months at most, I can't seem to transition into a longer-term relationship given that there are thousands of other singles still waiting in the pool that might be a better match. Currently I'm at the three-month mark with a new woman, whom I really like. My question is: When do I turn my profile off? Going a step further, when do I quit this online dating thing for good and just stick to meeting people in the real world? It's how I found my first wife, and I didn't have this dilemma when falling in love with her.

Two Sense: I Need Advice About Something My Future Husband Wants to Try

My fiancé wants to try anal sex. I have to admit, I’ve always been curious about it. But now that I’m with my future husband and he is actually interested in doing it, I’m very nervous. I’m afraid it will hurt, or even cause me to bleed. I’m also nervous that I won’t like it but he will and that this may cause friction in our relationship. Finally, is it really possible for me to experience pleasure this way? Several of my girlfriends have done it and none of them list it as their favorite thing. Isn’t anal sex all for the benefit of the one on top? I need both practical and emotional advice.

Two Sense: Do I Have to Confess a Make Out Session After My Boyfriend Fooled Around at Burning Man?

My boyfriend of a few months went to Burning Man last week with the understanding that he could have sex with others, as long as he used a condom. This was his wish; I would have preferred we stay exclusive, but it seemed a little early in the relationship to tell him he couldn’t fool around at Burning Man. Long story short, while he was away I ran into an old flame on the ferry and, after a few drinks, found myself making out with him. I know I would never have done this if I hadn’t suspected my boyfriend was doing the same out on the playa. Now that he’s back, I don’t feel I need to divulge what happened on the ferry, and I also don’t want to hear anything about what he did at Burning Man. Unfortunately, my boyfriend goes for “brutal honesty,” and I fear a long download is coming. Do I have to confess my makeout session, which in the long run meant very little to me?" src="http://www.7x7.com/sites/all/modules/wysiwyg/plugins/break/images/spacer.gif" alt="<--break->">

Two Sense: How Do I Deal with My Fiancée's Bridezilla Behavior?

My fiancée and I were perfect for each other until we started planning our wedding. She wants a church wedding with 300 guests (even though we are both agnostics). I want a small destination wedding on a beach with 25 people, tops. She wants to register for china and crock pots (even though we are both in our 30s, have been living together for years and have a lovely household full of modern supplies). I want to skip the gifts. She wants an $8,000 wedding dress and me in a tux. I want casual. Finally, she wants to honeymoon in Paris, a place we've already been twice, and I want to go someplace entirely new and exotic such as Bali or Africa. Who is this woman I thought I knew? Will this traditional, materialistic and rather boring side of her pass once we're married? Is this just her "Bridezilla" coming out?

Two Sense: My Partner Tested Positive, But I'm Too Scared to Take an HIV Test

I'm a 28-year-old gay man. I recently learned that my longtime f*ck buddy seroconverted. Since we used condoms for intercourse only about half the time, and I was the bottom, there's a pretty good chance I’m positive as well. But here's my problem. I can't face the HIV test. I've just never believed that I could be positive one day, although my behavior would indicate otherwise. I've always been the "good kid" and there's just no room in my identity for the diagnoses. I know I have to get the test, and that HIV is entirely treatable these days, but I harbor so much self-hatred about letting my guard down and denial about taking the next step to take care of myself. I dread disappointing my friends and family, who expect so much of me.

Two Sense: Should I Have a Baby with my Gay BFF?

I'm 40, want to have a family, and haven't yet found Mr. Right. Meanwhile, my best friend, a gay guy I'll call Tom, wants to have a baby too and has offered to impregnate me and split parenting 50-50. Tom is a great human being and would make a wonderful father. This may be my last best hope of becoming a mom. But something in me still holds out for the "full picture" of the nuclear family, to the point that I'm even wondering if Tom and I should marry and bring up the baby together (while still being free to date). We love each other, after all, and I've read of women who've done this. We have everything going for us but sex, and sex drops off after the first few years anyway, right? Or am I just trying to put a pretty bow on a bad idea?

Two Sense: Did I Overreact When My Boyfriend Cyber-Stalked Me?

My boyfriend, who lives in Hong Kong, just visited me here in SF. A few days into his stay he confronted me with his iPad, with which he had been tracking the location of my cell phone from Hong Kong. I was shocked. He even showed me a map from a few weeks before when I was in Palo Alto with a friend. The map clearly showed a little icon with my name on it, right at my friend’s address. My BF wanted to know who the friend was and why I hadn’t mentioned it to him. I, in turn, told him to leave immediately and lose my number. Later, my techie friend told me it’s because I had turned on the “Find My iPhone” setting. Apparently, all he needed was my Apple ID to track me—which he of course knew, since I used it all the time to download from iTunes. Did I overreact?

Two Sense: Am I Weird for Having Nasty Thoughts?

Two Sense: Am I Weird for Having Nasty Thoughts?

Sometimes I fantasize about really nasty things during sex--so nasty that I can't bring myself to type them out. That's how embarrassed I'd be if anyone ever knew what I picture happening in my mind when my sweet, wonderful boyfriend is making love to me. Is there something pathologically wrong with me? Am I trying to avoid intimacy? I wasn't ever abused in any way. I'm a pretty decent, ordinary person with a great job, good friends and family, and I'd say I'm happy most of the time. So why do these dark fantasies play out in my head during sex?

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