I've been online dating for about three years after my divorce. My story is typical: I've met a lot of fine women, but nothing has stuck. After a few dates, or a few months at most, I can't seem to transition into a longer-term relationship given that there are thousands of other singles still waiting in the pool that might be a better match. Currently I'm at the three-month mark with a new woman, whom I really like. My question is: When do I turn my profile off? Going a step further, when do I quit this online dating thing for good and just stick to meeting people in the real world? It's how I found my first wife, and I didn't have this dilemma when falling in love with her.
My fiancé wants to try anal sex. I have to admit, I’ve always been curious about it. But now that I’m with my future husband and he is actually interested in doing it, I’m very nervous. I’m afraid it will hurt, or even cause me to bleed. I’m also nervous that I won’t like it but he will and that this may cause friction in our relationship. Finally, is it really possible for me to experience pleasure this way? Several of my girlfriends have done it and none of them list it as their favorite thing. Isn’t anal sex all for the benefit of the one on top? I need both practical and emotional advice.
My boyfriend of a few months went to Burning Man last week with the understanding that he could have sex with others, as long as he used a condom. This was his wish; I would have preferred we stay exclusive, but it seemed a little early in the relationship to tell him he couldn’t fool around at Burning Man. Long story short, while he was away I ran into an old flame on the ferry and, after a few drinks, found myself making out with him. I know I would never have done this if I hadn’t suspected my boyfriend was doing the same out on the playa. Now that he’s back, I don’t feel I need to divulge what happened on the ferry, and I also don’t want to hear anything about what he did at Burning Man. Unfortunately, my boyfriend goes for “brutal honesty,” and I fear a long download is coming. Do I have to confess my makeout session, which in the long run meant very little to me?" src="http://www.7x7.com/sites/all/modules/wysiwyg/plugins/break/images/spacer.gif" alt="<--break->">
My fiancée and I were perfect for each other until we started planning our wedding. She wants a church wedding with 300 guests (even though we are both agnostics). I want a small destination wedding on a beach with 25 people, tops. She wants to register for china and crock pots (even though we are both in our 30s, have been living together for years and have a lovely household full of modern supplies). I want to skip the gifts. She wants an $8,000 wedding dress and me in a tux. I want casual. Finally, she wants to honeymoon in Paris, a place we've already been twice, and I want to go someplace entirely new and exotic such as Bali or Africa. Who is this woman I thought I knew? Will this traditional, materialistic and rather boring side of her pass once we're married? Is this just her "Bridezilla" coming out?
I'm a 28-year-old gay man. I recently learned that my longtime f*ck buddy seroconverted. Since we used condoms for intercourse only about half the time, and I was the bottom, there's a pretty good chance I’m positive as well. But here's my problem. I can't face the HIV test. I've just never believed that I could be positive one day, although my behavior would indicate otherwise. I've always been the "good kid" and there's just no room in my identity for the diagnoses. I know I have to get the test, and that HIV is entirely treatable these days, but I harbor so much self-hatred about letting my guard down and denial about taking the next step to take care of myself. I dread disappointing my friends and family, who expect so much of me.
I'm 40, want to have a family, and haven't yet found Mr. Right. Meanwhile, my best friend, a gay guy I'll call Tom, wants to have a baby too and has offered to impregnate me and split parenting 50-50. Tom is a great human being and would make a wonderful father. This may be my last best hope of becoming a mom. But something in me still holds out for the "full picture" of the nuclear family, to the point that I'm even wondering if Tom and I should marry and bring up the baby together (while still being free to date). We love each other, after all, and I've read of women who've done this. We have everything going for us but sex, and sex drops off after the first few years anyway, right? Or am I just trying to put a pretty bow on a bad idea?
My boyfriend, who lives in Hong Kong, just visited me here in SF. A few days into his stay he confronted me with his iPad, with which he had been tracking the location of my cell phone from Hong Kong. I was shocked. He even showed me a map from a few weeks before when I was in Palo Alto with a friend. The map clearly showed a little icon with my name on it, right at my friend’s address. My BF wanted to know who the friend was and why I hadn’t mentioned it to him. I, in turn, told him to leave immediately and lose my number. Later, my techie friend told me it’s because I had turned on the “Find My iPhone” setting. Apparently, all he needed was my Apple ID to track me—which he of course knew, since I used it all the time to download from iTunes. Did I overreact?
Sometimes I fantasize about really nasty things during sex--so nasty that I can't bring myself to type them out. That's how embarrassed I'd be if anyone ever knew what I picture happening in my mind when my sweet, wonderful boyfriend is making love to me. Is there something pathologically wrong with me? Am I trying to avoid intimacy? I wasn't ever abused in any way. I'm a pretty decent, ordinary person with a great job, good friends and family, and I'd say I'm happy most of the time. So why do these dark fantasies play out in my head during sex?
I’ve been with my wife for ten years, married for two. About a year ago, I cheated. I felt so guilty, I decided she should find someone else and filed for divorce. We separated for five months, and I realized I couldn’t live without her. So I asked for a second chance and we started seeing each other. We put the divorce on hold and started working things out slowly. I asked her to tell me if she was seeing anyone else—I noticed she was always checking her phone. One day I showed up at her place with flowers and found her with another guy. I was heartbroken, but long story short, we moved back in together. That was a year ago, and we still haven’t had sex. I’ve been a good husband, helping with housework, giving her massages, buying her flowers. She’s told me she will initiate sex when she’s ready. I don’t know whether I’ve hurt her too much or I am too impatient or if she’s seeing someone else. She occasionally sees in passing the guy she slept with at work, though she tells me she doesn’t speak to him. I find that hard to believe. I stopped all communication with the woman I slept with. I’ve planned a birthday trip for my wife soon and we’ll be renewing our vows. The only thing our relationship is missing is sex. Am I on the right track?
I’ve read your advice about what a woman should do when she has found her significant other cheating/sexting/lying. Now I need your help because I have done those things and she is ready to walk. I have a history of this and have even gotten the help of a psychologist in the past. A few months ago when my girlfriend and I were doing long distance—and very close to moving in together—I became depressed and lonely. I used a fling as a crutch. It didn’t lead to sex, but it was a mistake and I knew it. I had a shock to the system and realized that I love my girlfriend and want only her. We have been living together for two months now. She is the love of my life and I am so glad I made the move. However, she recently found out about my mistake and has lost all trust in me.
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