The most wonderful weekend of the year is only days away! And you're not prepared. 

But we got you. Here’s your guide for what to tell your friends when they ask that absurd question: "Who are you excited to see?"

DO NOT MISS THESE ACTS 

D’Angelo (Friday)

The sex icon-turned-recluse returned to the public consciousness this year in stirring fashion. A few lucky devotees witnessed D’Angelo’s resurrection at Fox Theater this past spring, but only now will the masses have a chance to see him perform his wondrous new album Black Messiah in person.

Leon Bridges (Friday)

The internet and Leon Bridges are still very much in their honeymoon stage, after Bridges gifted us with his debut album Coming Home earlier this summer. Kudos were quick to file in, largely citing the authenticity and care for which Bridges re-imagines soul and doo-wop. It’s the ‘50s all over again (if they make another Back to the Future, Bridges needs to headline the school dance), but Bridges has made the era his own, and brought the genre cycle full circle. Do. Not. Miss. This. Set.

Kendrick Lamar (Saturday)

We’re not making any promises on Kendrick’s behalf, but the list of collaborators on his coup d’etat 2015 album To Pimp a Butterfly (Bilal, George Clinton, James Fauntleroy, Ronald Isley, Rapsody, Snoop Dogg, Thundercat, Anna Wise) suggests this set could be rich with guest appearances (Eazy-E hologram, please?). Regardless, just seeing Butterfly played live will be a gift in itself. Rarely does an album cross genres, yet still tell a riveting conceptual story as well as Lamar does on Butterfly — jazz, blues, hip-hop, soul are all accounted for while Kendrick tells the story of a black life in modern-day America.

Elton John (Sunday)

There’s no chance you’re missing “Rocket Man” from the horse’s mouth. Face it.

Caribou (Sunday)

Dan Snaith’s brilliance isn’t breaking news, but his 2015 album Our Love brought Caribou to levels unseen. “Can’t Do Without You” remains the track of the year to these ears, and we can only daydream about the transcendent euphoria that will spread over Golden Gate Park when he spins “Silver” and “Julia Brightly” and ... god, please let it go on forever.

ACTS FOR THE ADVENTUROUS 

Speedy Ortiz (Friday)

The ‘90s are alive! Lo-fi alterna-punk youngins Speedy Ortiz recall the drive of Breeders and the DIY punk spirit of Pavement, and the prolificness of Sonic Youth. In just three years they’ve already put out two LPs and an EP, all regarded universally as forward-thinking updates to indie grunge.

Giraffage (Saturday)

This Outside Lands gig serves as a clear high-water mark for the local laptop jockey. Think a dubbier Purity Ring, and you basically have Giraffage, where pitter-pattering Southern hip-hop percussion pairs with dark, mysterious production innovation.

Givers (Sunday)

Where the hell have these guys been! We missed Givers dearly last year when technical difficulties suspended their OSL appearances, but the Southern indie oddballs are making good on the MIA spot, thank goodness. Now the only question is whether the band has an update material-wise since their charming breakthrough 2011 album, In Light.

COMEDY ACTS WORTH SEEING 

Tig Notaro (Friday)

Notaro’s story is well-documented by now (literally, in the Netflix documentary Tig, below): ascending comic gets bad news, compounded by worse news, compounded by a cancer diagnosis. Yet in the face of the diagnosis, Notaro refuses her fate and tells the world her sobering story with absurdist, dark-as-night humor.

Members of The Daily Show team (Saturday)

Yes, that team — the Best F#%$#&& News Team on the planet. Beloved SF comic-turned-Comedy Central superstar Al Madrigal returns to his former home base with Daily Show brethren Jordan Klepper, Hasan Minhaj in tow. 

Pete Holmes (Sunday)

Comedic hero Pete Holmes is an inspiration to anyone who doesn’t like to stick to rigid career labels and paths. He does it all: screenwriter, actor, talk show host, podcaster, cartoonist, you name it — but at the root of this renaissance mandom is his standup, where he first made waves some 15 years ago.

Follow @ChrisTrenchard for more words like these.