Thanks to friend and cocktail fiend Alex for this gem.

Watch this video, and then tell me that you would ever would ever put that drink in your mouth. There's so much that's wrong with the way he makes this drink, it's scary, but we'll just mention some of the highlights:
Try not to pick your nose while chilling your cocktail glass.
Try not to use only one ounce of rum in a cocktail--at least give 'em an ounce and a half.
Try not to completely botch the measuring of your ingredients.
Try not to pick your nose again.
Try not to use prefab sweet-and-sour mix.
Try not to tell people that "nobody really uses fresh limes anymore" because they're too expensive and require a lot of work--it just makes you look cheap and lazy.
Shake like you mean it!
Try not to  bang your shaker on the bar when opening it.
Try not to attend cheesy bar schools.

You want to learn how to make great cocktails? Get a job in a good bar. Practice with knowledgeable people.  Or spend a week with the real gurus.