My list of seven sexy things this week....

1.Sex in the News:Noisy Sex Lands Woman in Court
A British woman was fined for having loud sex with her boyfriend. Neighbors complained the headboard would bang until 6 a.m. (does her boyfriend have a brother?!) They said it kept them up all night, gave their children nightmares, and basically disrupted their lives for two years. With San Franciscans living so close together I thought I’d issue this as a friendly reminder: These walls are thin. But if you’re lucky enough to have a single-family house or cool neighbors, then I say keep going for it.

2. Ben Feldman’sLAUGH ORGY withChris Garcia
Thursday August 14, 9pm
Grant & Green Saloon
1371 Grant Ave., 415-693-9565
If you’re tired of couching it with a DVD, try a comedy date night. I have no idea what happens at a laugh orgy but it must be funny, right?

3.Sleeping Around Craigslist
Sat, August 16, 6:30pm
Good Vibrations
603 Valencia St., 415-522-5460
If you’re considering take-out sex on Craigslist or just are curious how it all went down for Anna Reed, check out her talk at Good Vibrations.

4. Nice Jewish Girls Gone Bad
Sunday, August 17, 8pm
Red Devil Lounge
1695 Polk St., 866-468-3399
Comedy, music, burlesque and some bad girls who’ve been featured on Comedy Central, HBO and MTV.

5. Clock Bar
Westin St. Francis
335 Powell St., 415-397-9222
Sexy ambiance with sexy bartenders mixing sexy drinks. Enough said.

6. TIP: How To Keep it Hot, Part 1
A universal truth: Your sex life will fade at some point. So try this a pre-emptive move right now: Stop focusing on the all those negative, annoying things your partner does, which probably aren’t going to go away anyway. Instead, try refreshing your memory. Close your eyes for two minutes and remember when you first met, how it felt in your body, and all the things that attracted you in the first place.

7.TIP: How To Keep it Hot, Part 2
I know you’ve heard this before: Plan a romantic evening. But have you ever actually tried it? How about trying just one of these things: a massage, a bath, a sexy game. Build it up through the week. Anticipation is sexy. This one bears repeating because it actually work. Just. One. Thing.