Performance: Air Sex Championships
Cheer on the brave souls who bring their secret pole and lap dancing fantasies to life onstage in a battle of the sexes, literally. Watch in awe as contestants make sweet love to the air, pound the floor, and do the nasty in front of a live audience. You'll laugh, you'll cringe, and you'll be grateful that you can go home to get it on in private. $15; Wednesday 10/20; The Independent, 628 Divisadero St., apeconcerts.com

Dance: KUNST-STOFF and LEVYdance
Movement, music, and shadows combine to create art onstage. Nationally and internationally recognized dance companies KUNST-STOFF and LEVYdance will share the new ODC Theater for two world premieres. KUNST-STOFF's Rebetiko, choreographed by artistic director Yannis Adoniou, explores the story of refugees through music and movement while LEVYdance looks at how taste, smell, and texture triggers a visceral response in our bodies.  $18; Thursday 10/21 - Saturday, 10/30; ODC Theater, 3153 17th St., odctheater.org

Comey: Aziz Ansari
Aziz Ansari is HOT. And the ticket price for his "Dangerously Delicious" tour shows it. He plays opposite Amy Poehler in NBC's Parks and Recreation, has starred in Funny People and I Love You, Man, and hosted June's MTV  Movie Awards. If he's new to you, catch up with a Hulu date before getting tix to one of his six shows at the Fillmore. $48; Thursday 10/21 - Saturday 10/23; The Fillmore, 1805 Geary Blvd., livenation.com

Comedy: Mortified
Okay, nothing new here, but if you haven't seen Mortified yet or if it's been awhile, get your tickets to the show now. I mean, where else can you see real-life strangers sharing straight from their most personal places—teen journals, unanswered love letters and angst-written artifacts? It's the one night when you can acceptably delight in other people's pain, misery, and utter humiliation. $12-$15; Friday 10/22 - Saturday 10/23; The Make-Out Room, 3225 22nd St., getmortified.com

Music: Bridge School Benefit Concert
Think Outside Lands meets Hardly Strictly and Treasure Island—all in one day, on one stage, for a really noble cause. The 24th annual Bridge School Benefit features a kick-ass lineup including Grizzly Bear, Modest Mouse, Elvis Costello, Emmylou Harris, Jackson Browne, Pearl Jam, Lucinda Williams, Elton John, Neko Case and so many more. Proceeds go to the Bridge School, a nonprofit that provides augmentative and alternative communication and assistive technology to those with severe speech and physical impairments. Check each day's schedule (the lineup varies slightly) and buy your ticket now. $35-$150; Saturday 10/23 - Sunday 10/24; Shoreline Amphitheatre, 1 Amphitheatre Parkway, Mountain View, livenation.com