This may sound a little weird but here goes. As a 20-something white female, I really dig Asian guys. They are so good-looking, stylish, and tend to be family oriented and faithful. I love Asian culture. But… how do I say this? With rare exceptions, the Asian guys I've have dated have been smaller than average “down there.” I don't need it huge, but at least average is important to me—it just feels better. I’ve actually dumped a couple of guys for this very reason—of course I didn't own up to the real reason. Am I terribly superficial? How do I smoke out the well-endowed Asian guys without being too obvious about it?

He Said: On the gay hookup sites, one of the most frequently asked questions is "how hung?" or "how big?" and by that the questioners don't mean your collar size. ("What are you reading?" is the least asked.) I realize that without this kind of virtual filter—and the harsh directness of same-sex dating)—it will be far harder to suss out an estimate. (Although I hear shoe size is not a bad gauge). For some men and women, size really does matter. But I've noticed that size queens tend to gain an unrealistic appreciation of the male anatomy. Once you've gone down that road, it's hard to find satisfaction even in average. The problem is that by focusing on one admittedly critical part of the anatomy, you obscure all other qualities, good and bad. Wouldn't you rather end up with a great guy with average size than a hung jerk? Why does one average trait cancel out all the great ones? I suggest you work on widening your appreciation of male beauty to include the entire package, so to speak, mind and body.

She Said: Asking a guy how big his johnson is before you’ve even ordered a round of drinks is bad form. You’ve just got to go on a date or two and find out for yourself if the man’s got the goods to please you. If not, simply move on, quickly. I have no idea whether Asian men statistically have smaller penises than other races (and I’m quite sure there’s no official Ministry of Penile Length supplying such objective facts) or if you’ve simply had back luck in this department. But one thing’s for sure: Mick Jagger was right. You can’t always get what you want. There are tons of good-looking, faithful, family-oriented, averagely hung males out there of every race. Stylish? Maybe not as many. But in the end, you need to define what’s most important to you, and let the rest go, because perfection doesn’t exist.

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