If you're experiencing royal wedding FOMO (fear of missing out) and a twinge of envy for our friends across the pond who are unabashedly snatching up Will + Kate commemorative tea towels, Personality Hotels has a gimmick for you. In what might send the Queen and her corgis into a state of PTSD, The Kensington Park Hotel is offering what they're calling a "Shag Like Royalty" package.  What do you get? Well, for one, the opportunity to shack up in an room with bedposts like Gandolf stripper poles and a carpet to make even Austin Powers blush.

But also, a gift bag to arm you for the role: two mini bottles of gin for G&Ts, a copy of Twist: A Dictionary of British Slang (correct usage of the word "wally" is clearly of the utmost importance), a pair of disguise glasses to "hide from the paparazzi," a can of spotted dick pudding (yummmmm) and a list of SF's best British pubs (Pig & Whistle, Black Horse, we're looking at you).

Ridiculous, yes? But mind you, this is from the same group that brought us a "Snuggie Sutra," promotion for Valentine's Day.

The “Shag Like Royalty” package is valid through May 15. Rates start at $189 per night, excluding tax and based upon availability. For reservations, call 800.553.1900 or visit www.personalityhotels.com.