by The 4-Way Panel

Dear 4-Way, 

I just met a man I feel like I’ve really connected with, and got the sense that he has really connected with me as well: physically, emotionally and intellectually. However, after our fourth date (in the course of three weeks) he told me that he reconnected with an old relationship and, as a result, has cooled off toward me. The thing is, even though we haven’t had sex, he tells me he really enjoys the closeness we’ve shared and wants to continue seeing me. The woman in question lives in Europe and it would mean a long-distance relationship. I, however, live in the same town and can actually participate in a non-virtual relationship. I’m torn because I like him, but need to pull back emotionally because I don’t want to get hurt. I admit that I’m also hopeful that he’ll realize a long-distance relationship isn’t going to be practical and he’ll rekindle what got started when we first met. He’s being very honest with me—which I appreciate—and we’re both around 40, so there is a certain level of maturity here. I think I need to move on, but I’d also like to hold out to see if he’ll be available. Thoughts?–JG

    The gay man’s perspective: Darren Maddox

Around the corner or around the globe, I hate to break it to you, sunshine, but he’s into someone else! What guy is going to freely tell you this after only a few weeks of knowing him if he wants to build something with you? Maybe she was there all along. I say step back and see if he follows. Better to do it now than delay.

Check in tomorrow to read the straight woman's perspective by Rebecca Brown.

The 4-Way is published monthly. If you have a question for our 4-Way panel, please send it to them in care of the editor at rbrown@realgirlsmedia.com. To read more of The 4-Way columns or to listen to our podcasts, visit The 4-Way now.