We here at 7x7 are inundated with requests to publish images of radical new tech offices. But one thing we find decidedly unradical about most of these workplaces is ye olde ubiquitous ping-pong table. Like the male bun, it is so last year. It's time for your tech company to burn some of that sweet VC funding on a new signifier of the modern office. Here are a few ideas that spring to mind.
1. A croquet lawn
Twitter needs to ditch their succulent garden and install a classic Cambridge University-style croquet lawn on their roof. Each day will be your very own A Room with a View. Bustles and sexual dalliances required.
2. A bunch of legos
Really, this should be mandatory for any workspace. Spending a good hour or so rifling through Legos is heaven. Scroosh, scroosh. That sound of rummaging in a tub of these building blocks is enough to send one into a state of unadulterated bliss. Great for problem-solving skills, too.
3. A four square court
Perfect for team building. Harkens back to the playground. Here are the rules.
4. Air hockey
Just as loud as ping-pong, but no balls flying about the office.
5. Swimming pool
Before the revolution comes and we are all forced into reeducation camps, you can say you and your bros cracked open a few craft brews at lunchtime whilst lounging in your company pool. Don't forget your floaties.
6. Mani/pedi station
If you insist on being a disgusting neanderthal who wears flip-flops to the office, you might as well get those gnarly toes shined and buffed to gleaming perfection. Plus, the ladies will like it. Speaking of ladies...
Here's a crazy idea for the MidMarket and SoMa set: Bring a gaggle of women into your office, have them fill out a W9 form, give them a complicated task, and watch them go! They're smart. Super smart. And your company should be hiring more of them.