If Bay to Breakers (which goes down this Sunday) snuck up on you this year, then you're probably still in hot pursuit of a costume that will blow everyone's brightly-colored tutus off. You could fall on back on the staples (Frank Chu, MUNI, either bridge with or without lights, the tried but true unicorn), but really, how many years have you seen that? (We're looking at you, unicorn). So in order to inspire you, if only for our own entertainment, we put together a list of nine pretty epic, topical costumes we would pay to see run a 12k.
1. Solange, Jay Z, Beyonce, and the Infamous Elevator
Sure you could don a wig and show off your best Mortal Kombat finishing move, but this group costume is not complete without the real star of the show: the elevator. People are going to want to ride you all day.
2. Radioactive Salmon
The salmon (those runners who go against the flow of the race and are usually dressed as fish) are a Bay to Breakers staple. But after this nuclear-contaminated year, we really want to see some radioactive specimens flopping around.
3. Danielle Steel's Bush
If you think this is a dirty joke, then you're sadly mistaken. This is a serious issue concerning overly large hedges.
The King of Monsters is sure to have even the no alcohol enforcers running in fright. Then find one of those people dressed as an SF icon and casually crush them.
5. Blue Jasmines
For those unwilling to make a fool of themselves, go the pretty route and dress up as a blue flower in ode to Cate Blanchett's award-winning South Park breakdown.
6. Miley Cyrus
For a clever way to get naked, take off your clothes, run around looking lost, and tell everyone you're Miley Cyrus searching for her dignity.
7. Leland Yee and Raymond 'ShrimpBoy' Chow
Can someone please merge the Chinese gangster with some Louisiana cooking? Because we think Shrimp Po Boy Chow would be the most epic costume of all, with or without a tommy gun-wielding Yee.
8. Google Bus Protest
If you're in need of motivation to actually run Bay to Breakers, nothing will give you the necessary kick in the butt like dressing up as a Google bus and letting an angry mob chase you to the shore.
9. $4 Toast
Whether you incite outry or insatiable bougie hunger, you'll be at the crux of every conversation this year.